What if we had a different Minister for Immigration?

As Minister for Immigration and Border Protection, Scott Morrison has shown us he is a cruel, heartless bastard. His treatment and de-humanisation of asylum seekers elevates him to the unbridled title of nastiest politician I have seen in the 30 years I’ve been following politics.

I was musing, what if we had a different Minister for Immigration? What if clown Abbott had given the job to someone else? How would they treat asylum seekers? Here’s what I came up with.

If the job went to Christpoher Pyne, all the asylum seekers would be sent to a private school.

If it went to Peter Dutton, all asylum seekers would be taxed $6 for the visit.

If it went to Malcolm Turnbull the boats will be slowed down to 25mbs a second, but at least he’ll invest in them.

If it went to Barnaby Joyce, he’d do the right thing and attend their weddings. And bill the taxpayer of course.

If it went to Joe Hockey, he’d want to increase their numbers by 500 million.

If it went to Kevin Andrews, he’d call for a Royal Commission into their drinking habits.

If it went to Julie Bishop, she’d call them Australia’s closest allies while simultaneously insulting them.

And if it went to Tony Abbott himself, well, we all know what he’d do. Nothing.