I laughed ’til I cried

Sometimes when Joe Hockey opens his mouth the most stupidest things spill out. Such was the case when he complained yesterday that the Opposition was drowned out by celebrity’ Kev. For your amusement here is the complaint filled article in full:

Shadow treasurer Joe Hockey has complained that coalition policy announcements have been drowned out by “celebrity” Kevin Rudd.

Mr Hockey again referred to the prime minister as “Kevin Kardashian” and said sooner or later people would see through him.

He insisted the coalition had big plans for Australia and its pitch was far broader than just abolishing the carbon tax and stopping the boats.

“We’ve been making announcements every day for our plans for Australia’s future, but they’ve been drowned out by the celebrity Kevin Rudd,” he told the Ten Network Bolt Report program.

Mr Hockey said Mr Rudd was all smoke and mirrors.

He said Australia could end up paying social security and Medicare benefits to asylum seekers for the rest of their lives under the PNG solution.

The carbon price was also set to rise to $38 a tonne under Mr Rudd’s move to an emissions trading scheme, he said.

But climate change minister Mark Butler said it was Opposition Leader Tony Abbott who predicted Australians would have to pay $100 for a roast dinner and that some towns would be wiped off the map under the carbon tax.

“The time has come for the opposition to get off the political posturing,” he told Sky News.

Oh, the irony. Does this bloke expect us to take him seriously?

He’s good for a laugh, nothing else.

80 comments on “I laughed ’til I cried

  1. I think Joe is showing signs of clinical depression, for real. He had to spruik TA’s crap when he didn’t agree with it, and now he has nowhere to go.

    BW
    Patricia

  2. When Hockey appeared on Sunrise and was asked if Turnbull was “the man,” Hockey’s reply of NO-O-O-O! was priceless.

  3. You gotta remember that Joe’s a survivor too….. and he prob’s has the T-shirt to prove it.. 😀
    Ricky, they really should think about staple’n his lips 😉 … they seem to be some what loose…….. but with a mouth that size you would need at least eleventy staples.. 😆

  4. Awe Joey, it’s just not fair is it. Constantly amazed that a party which has had years to devise policy always seem surprised when ALP just announces it. It’s almost as if
    they expect to be consulted. Not sure what they think their wages are for.
    And, by the the way, I know you’re very pleased with you Kardashian joke but it really doesn’t bear repeating and nauseam

  5. Joe is an avid tweeter & this is one of his tweets from Saturday Not a single person in the car yards along Pennant Hills Road! This was supposedly to discredit the revamping of the FBT NEXT YEAR to slow down the rorting. Couldn’t have a shot at him as he has blocked poor old me. He & the rest of the LNP MP tweeps are against free speech if you challenge their idiotic crap.

    Even Politifact upsets diddums Joe Not only did Politifact get it wrong on Govt debt ( which they accept) but they refuse to analyse carbon tax claims of #krudd. Pro ALP bias.

    The buffoon Eleventy Joe is one big brain fart & the mere thought of him being Treasurer fills me with horror. Tony Abbott as PM would be bad enough.

    .

  6. Is there any chance, that while he was talking to Andrew Bolt, that Bolt might have thought he was interviewing an idiot?

  7. When Abbort goes down with the ship it is sad to think that sloppy is a contender for loto. Kevin at least has the media paying attention even if it is begrudged, roll on the election

    Jane most of the article is a direct quote from sloppy unless that was your concern.
    Migs sorry again sloppy is not worth a laugh rather a grimace.

  8. It was Howard giving Hockey the unsaleable and unpalatable WorkChoices without safety net to sell that saw the turning of avuncular Joe into unhinged Joe.

    From that moment he went from Rudd’s friend to absolutely detesting Rudd, and from having some social and moral conscience to becoming this red faced angry and uncaring haranguer of every social decency out there.

    An example is his now stating twice he should have let Rudd drown on the Kokoda Track. The old Joe would never have come out with wishing harm on anyone let alone their death.

  9. Bilko, Jane may be referring to my use of the phrase “most stupidest”. That bit could have been written better grammatically, but I liked the sound of it.

  10. “most stupidest”

    Well, I don’t think that joe could sound any stupider 🙂

    btw Migs, I sent an email to you and Min, but only Mins got through. Don’t know if you can give her a nudge for me 😉

  11. Stupidest is a correct wording though Michael. It’s even in my Oxford dictionary. Jane would have to be a true pedant to find fault with that. Now as for Joe’s English usage, well that is a whole new ballgame.

  12. Oops missed the “most”. 😆 Never mind, Joe would have to be one of the the most stupidest of the most stupid idiots around so it fits. Even a pedant would have to agree. 😉

  13. He’s not called “Sloppy Joe” for nothing 😯

    But if he keeps this up we may haver to change it to “Two Dicks Joe” 😀

    And we wonder why they get leaders of the “Calibre” of Abbott, who was not expected to win over Sloppy (Two Dicks) Joe 😆

    Cheers ;grin:

  14. Joy/Migs
    “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never harm me”, in this case they make sloppy even sloppier. What was he about to do with the scissor’s ??

  15. Just when you thought that Australia’s answer to Sarah Palin – all ambition and no talent Julie “Asbestos” Bishop was the worst and most embarrassing Shadow Treasurer in Australian political history ….

    … then along comes Mr Eleventy – Joe “Henny Penny” Hockey.

    A political buffoon and economic dunce if ever there was one.

    I wouldn’t trust him with my beer money let alone a $1 trillion economy!

  16. That rally did not last long in Balmain. Maybe the pub behind them, and the one on the corner, was too big of a temptation. Maybe they had to get to classes.

  17. isn’t karma a bitch,now they know what the gillard government had to put up with,none of their good policies were ever heard of because of all the scare tactics ,the coalition used to get rid of the government

  18. Exactly my say, after years of making hay while the msm were perfectly happy to ignore all policy work from Labor due to each and every confected ‘crisis’ from the opposition, to cry about it because rudd has turned out to be a bigger media whore than even tabot is a tad hypocritical.

    It was wrong then, it is wrong now, but that’s our media, a total loss. The only difference is, the libs don’t REALLY want anyone to look at their non policies, but crying about it might make it look like they actually have them.

  19. I reckon Joe has had the jobs equivalent to “Selling a Shit sandwich to the public as a Gourmet Meal”, which he has done pretty pathetic job on multiple occasions.
    I used the think Joe was a nice guy and honest out of the Lot of them.. (perhaps misguided, but still had a positive reputation).
    Since Tony took over the reigns, he has become the ‘whinger’ of the group. He tries to spin negative news (with a gleeful enthusiasm) on the status of the economy, however, even with good news, he continues to always see the dark lining. Never willing to give credit where credit is due !!
    Lost any respect I had to Clueless Joe, Sloppy Joe, Mr Eleventy.. monikers which seemed to have stuck (some cleverly). Now just a Dumbass !!

  20. I know Joe has had stomach surgery but there is one type of surgery he will never have to worry about and thats brain surgery.”’

  21. Did they staple his stomach or his brain?

    The former, there’s no evidence for the presence of the latter.

    Shouldn’t Sloppy have taken that golden sans Kevin Kardashian opportunity to spruik their policies, instead of whinging and whining about this strange power Kevin Kardashian seems to wield which prevents the Liars from telling us all about their plans?

    The big plans he talks about – are they in the brochure?

    They’re in a footnote at the bottom of page 50, Migs.

    Horatio @12.38am, roflmao!

    Roswell, even Dolt would have to admit that Sloppy is a sandwich short of a picnic.

    What was he about to do with the scissor’s ??

    Cut funding to education, health and pensions?

    mysay @12.45pm, the only difference being that the Liars haven’t actually got any policies.

  22. “…most stupidest…” I can live with as it is used to good effect, but as a pedant I would ask that you change “serious” in the second last line to ‘seriously’. Ok, pedantic rant off.

    On a more serious note, the LNP have had more than three years to come up with some real policies and to outline their vision for Australia (returning to Howard’s ‘vision’ doesn’t count). This has to be the laziest opposition I have ever seen. They are running on the ‘belief’ that “oppositions do not win elections, Governments lose them.” Hence the unrelenting negativity. Well that is another slogan that will not work this time.

  23. MrHarmony @6.11am..I would call it Joe Hockey’s confected everything. Name a time when Hockey wasn’t a confected something or another, whether it was trekking Kokoda as Kevin Rudd’s you’beaut bestest mate, or doing his Shrek impersonation “Fiona I’ll save ya'” or his somewhat odd attempt to turn from Shrek to Shreek…

    ps on Kokoda, I find Hockey’s recent comments stomach churning…

  24. Morgan ALP 52.5% L-NP 47.5%

    Labor will win with 49.5%

    Ltd. News attempting to influence their upcoming poll by running a readers survey of 26,000 that finds Rudd waning. What a joke. The only surprise is they found 26,000 readers.

  25. The only surprise is they found 26,000 readers.

    Probably stood at the end of the checkout as they were giving them away 😉

  26. It’s funny all right. But not so funny that Australia stands still in decay until
    we have an Election.
    Labor printers must be laughing at the number of reprints they have to do. Eg.
    1 Delete Gillard insert Rudd
    2. Delete Carbon Tax insert Emissions Tax plus FBT
    3. Rewrite to read ‘ all boat people go direct to Manus Island and become
    PNG Citizens.’
    4. After knifing Ms Gillard no one can knife me – the new caucus commandment.
    This one rings of a Dictator.
    Labor Policy changes by the day. Correction by the hour depending on results
    of interest groups or polling.
    Makes Australia a laughing stock to the World.
    The New Kevin suddenly looks/acts like the Old Kevin.

  27. Voyager BS, “little lone” the derailing of the LNP’s shit slinging ad complain, umm, I mean campaign …. wot ewe (baa) wrote there is projection written large….. Abbotts been wedged at every turn…… just like you here at the Cafe….. and I would feel sorry for how silly your look’n at the mo…. but, hey…. it’s you 😛 , you ad hominum-wit you 😆
    ….. and as for the ‘decay’ shyte… we have not got a Liberal govt… so how can we be in decay, you really should read some of the links put up here at the Cafe… you might learn that Australia has 3 triple A’s ….. the only decay.. is in your mind-set.. you dummy 🙄
    Abbotts a dickhead…. his supporters more so.

  28. Pingback: Joe Hockey and the “announcements every day for the plans for Australia’s future” | The Australian Independent Media Network

  29. @Brickbob. It’s not stomach surgery Hockey needs. He should do us all a favour and have his mouth sewn up! So tired – very tired – of all his “Sky is falling” bullsh*t and his constantly talking down the best performing economy in the developed world!

  30. More bad news for Hockey. Super returns highest for years, because oft strong share market. One wonders where the belief comes from, that the economy is bad.

    Thanks to the Gillard government, contributions to super is growing. Suggests much better retirement for most.

  31. Voyager, I take it, you support all red tape, that holds business to account, should be removed, that they should be free to do as they like.

    I take it, you believe that a rorting the FBT.

    Of course you also believe that any benefits given to low income earners should have to prove, down to the last cent, what they have. Even going as far. as to telling these people how they will spend their benefits, with income quarantining.

    I take it, you agree with Abbott that the Kids school bonus needs to be ended, as the mothers will put it through the pokies, and has nothing to do with education. Of course one must always provide receipts, all that is being asked with the Vehicle FBT.

  32. If it just a matter of keeping receipts how is it going to generate extra revenue of $1.8B over four years?

    Can’t have it both ways in the real world.

  33. If it just a matter of keeping receipts how is it going to generate extra revenue of $1.8B over four years?

    Perhaps because a lot of people currently claiming it cannot provide receipts.

    Hence the term ‘rort’ 😉

  34. Abbott coming on shortly ABC 24. Wonder if connection be lost for him, as for Rudd this morning.

    Expect he will continue to undermine the new AS rules, in relation to PNG.

  35. The Royal baby gets a mention. Not sure many are interested. Manage to make political capital out of it, by saying her remembers how happy he and Margie were.

    Yes, I am correct, he is continuing to undermine the PNG scheme. Does not say…I am sure the smuggler are cheering him on, as the best friend they have.

    Yes, several hundred still arriving. Of course they were on the high seas when the announcement was made. No one gone yet. Did not Mr. Burke say, they had to have health checks first, which takes a fortnight. Imagine the outcry, if Burke sent someone that was ill, and died on arrival.

    Rest, more of Abbott’s usual rubbish.

    More of their own interpretation of what has occurred. Now we have the younger Bishop.

  36. I have just worked out what that miserable look is on Abbott’s face. It is, I believe, supposed to be grave concern.

    More of Bishops usual interpretation of what is written down. All we hear “there maybe…” New version on “if”

    Yes, working hard to ensure the effort fails.

    Does not seem to worry them.

  37. Australia will be spending the money, whether they come by boat or whether they go to PNG. It is only a matter of how and where we spend it.

  38. First question challenges what Abbott has asserted. Saying the PNG PM did not say, as they are claiming.

  39. Receipts for what, exactly?

    receipts that prove the car is being used for work. I would have thought that would have been pretty obvious? After much panicking, thanks again msm, our work has found that this will not effect them. They are currently not rorting, so it has no impact.

  40. Yes, back to slogans and “he must”

    PPL now being questioned. Sitting down with the Greens. Expects parliament to respect mandate. Sorry Abbott, the only mandate you have, is what you can get passed on the floor of both houses.

    The only mandate that exists, is that is given to each local MP to act on behalf of the electorate that elected them. Yes, the MP act on behalf of the local people, not the party, or even the government at the end of the day.

    No, they will not be sent now, within 24 hours. They will be sent after health checks, not before. In fact, they cannot be sent before that. Abbott is well aware of that fact.

  41. Bishop now being challenged. Becoming tetchy I must say. Now onto the polls. Abbott let off the hook by that question. Now the slogans in full. Now defending the changes to prevent rorts to FBT.

  42. Tom, they are not even asking for receipts. All the require, is for a three month period, when ever one chooses in a five year period, a record of the cars movement. Yes, one has to keep a log. Yes, can now be done with a app.

    Yes, the car is supposed to be used for work. ]

    Driving it to work and leaving it is the car park each day, does not count.
    A onerous exercise one must say.

    This action is destroying the auto industry. I would say, pull another one,

  43. What receipts that prove the vehicle was used for work opposed to private use?

    It is obvious you do not have a clue what you are talking about but nothing new on that front.

    You do realise that the so called change was to Swan’s policy introduced in 2011??? Come on, try to spin that it was Abbott’s fault.

  44. scaper, you are not as stupid as you are trying to be.

    For years, when I worked in the PS, I had to record every kilometer I used the car for. Had to record every stop I made. Address and time. Not a unusual requirement for many businesses.

  45. You do realise that the so called change was to Swan’s policy introduced in 2011???

    Here I was thinking Keating introduced it.

    Come on, try to spin that it was Abbott’s fault.

    Who said it was.

    It is obvious you do not have a clue what you are talking about,/i>

    See above 😉

  46. scaper, that link is unrelated to the latest change.

    That was in regard to enforcing people to travel a certain distance in order to claim, this is that the car in question must be proved to be used for work in a stricter manner than was previously.

    A hint might be in who the Treasurer there is 😉

    Voyager and scaper seem to read through the same lead tinted glasses Migs 🙂

  47. That link is how it was set up by Swan until the recent announcement by Rudd so it is related. Does anyone here want to take a stab how Swan’s change has been rorted?

  48. Voyager, you obviously don’t read what people say, do you?

    If he did, he’d have to address what the commenter said, not rabbit on about his topic of choice, Migs. Anyway, whatever he’s gibbering on about is most likely bullshit, like most barrackers.

    Funny how they imitate Sloppy & Barnyard when they launch into a rant, isn’t it? Two of the most incoherent boneheads in the Liars and they choose to mimic their styles. Go figure.

    Fed up, 20 odd years ago, I had to complete a log book to claim fuel & vehicle use for tax purposes. You had to provide the date, odometer readings & reason for travel. And I think the log book had to be kept for 3 months, but I can’t swear to that.

    I imagine that record keeping was stricter when you were using a vehicle for work was because you were paid from the public purse.

  49. My link also set out the method. It has now been altered and by the way…Swan lifted his 2011 changes from the Henry Tax Report. Still, no one can explain how it has been rorted and more importantly…filling out a log would prevent the so called rorting.

  50. Pingback: John Lord’s Election Diary Update July 30 2013 | The Australian Independent Media Network

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