I’m Popeye the Sailor Man,
I’m a big tough palooka,
Who hates all gazookas……….
And here is my master plan.
I’ll push conservation
So most of this nation
Has clear new contour lines
To protect precious mines.
So it’s cheerio, NBN!
I’ll start it over again,
Making sure it employs
All our special good boys.
My parental leave dream
Is a great part of my scheme.
Soon gals won’t get chosen
For jobs with promotion.
I’ll remove the vexation
Of all Labor’s taxation
To ensure that the wealthy
Stay happy and healthy.
Then with hospitals empty
There will be beds aplenty,
So the poor near old age
Need no pension or wage.
Though I am happy to say
That my dear sister is gay,
I agree with George Pell;
Real queers all go to hell.
Same for that witch Julia!
She’s got no right to rule yer!
Get her out! Let’s shove’er!
And her live-in lover!
What’s up, Robb? ‘Course we can’t sink!
My policies do not stink!
And this boat’s got no holes!
Just read the bloody polls!
NOTES:
As is pretty obvious this pome, well jingle really, was inspired by Alan Moir. His Popeye, rolling out that jingle, with its immediately recognisable beat, is so obviously Tony Abbott! Particularly now when he needs to reassert his authority. He must be aware, after all the ALP shenanigans over the past weeks that there are murmurings of challenges to his own authority. Here’s my take on how he might defend his position against possible challengers. He wouldn’t mention the names we’ve heard – Malcolm Turnbull? Joe Hockey? – but simply stand his ground and boast his credentials.
His and the Coalition’s ‘policies’ have not changed an iota in the year since Alan’s drawing first appeared in spite of those rumors that business leaders and others are concerned about the LOTO position and his low personal rating in the polls. They make no reference to a rapidly changing world’s environmental problems or Australia’s real economic status. This brilliant cartoon says all there is to say about Tony Abbott and I found the jingle irresistable so I just had to carry on with it. Alan has forgiven my slight modification of his rhyme. Tony Abbott is indeed a big Palooka, and he probably does hate all gazookas, but he’s all washed up ashore, on an unsailable boat full of holes and he is so punch drunk on his ‘spin’ that he doesn’t know or care what he’s saying! The polls are all he cares about – what have policies got to do with anything?
For those who may not know, a gazooka is another word for a kazoo, a flute sized tin whistle type instrument which adds a “buzzing” timbral quality to a player’s voice when the player talks or sings into it. The flute shape perhaps explains how the term being gazooka’d came to mean having a “torpedo like” object shoved in your anus forcefully!!!! It has the additional colourful connotation of things like big hooters or big titties, e.g. “Look at those huge gazookas!”
Whether Alan Moir wanted us to think Tony hates big busted women or the thought of a big sharp instrument shoved up his arse is unclear, but I think we all understand his allusion to palookas who are incompetent or easily defeated athletes, especially prizefighters. The name derives from Joe Palooka a one time comic strip figure. The word “palooka” has now become somewhat of a negative term usually preceded by the word “big” and it describes a large man, a clumsy man, an oaf, a fighter, a bully, a brawler.
Having explained all that, I think the cartoon and the pome speak for themselves!
Café Whispers 
Reblogged this on lmrh5.
Patricia, Good one 😀 Glad to see you’ve got over your block 😎
keep up the good work 😀
Cheers 🙂 😀 😆
There is excellent article over at Migs’ AIMN blog by John Lord. It’s something that we’ve all being thinking about for a while, the consequences of an Abbott-led government. This isn’t just an opinion..and we’ve got plenty of gut instincts to realize what we’re not looking forward to, these are the facts of the matter.
As John says, will the electorate reject all of this without even knowing what Abbott’s policies are. Mr. No has stated clearly what he will reject. No more harping about “Dillard”, no more slagging off at “barrackers”, is this what people want?
Another great piece Patricia, well done.
will the electorate reject all of this without even knowing what Abbott’s policies are
I’m guessing that will be resounding YES Min 😉
Do we want our schools and hospital to be run by local community bodies. Do we want the public system to be allow to run down, turning both over to the private system, especially the education system, across the globe is that countries that rely on a state system, have the best outcomes.
Yes, it appears government run schools better. At least have a better for the majority, not the minority.
Yes, countries whose government only support one system, gets results.
Suggest the same goes for health.
Do we want to go down the path of the new coalition governments, whose first actions are to cut training and education. Who cut back on hospital services.
Forget about the furthy of only cutting services not in the front line. Those backroom services are what keeps the system going. If lower paid staff are not fulfilling the roles, they have to be take over by higher paid front line staff.
NSW just fired 300 teacher support workers, saying they would rather have a few more teachers, which I suspect are much higher paid. They will have to take over the role of the support workers, standing in front of copiers, doing what the support worker does now. The preparations and the work, these lower paid do, still has to be done.
One does not save money, by sacking behind the scene workers.
Excellent work Patricia. 🙂
Whenever you see candid images of Tony Abbott, such as the one in Tom R’s comment, he always seems to have a smug, scheming look which describes him to a T. Shudder. 😯
“Pome”??? HAHAHAHAHAH! Says it all about this offering that a ten year old could eclipse.
Leadership mutterings? What shit you talk, just like your pathetic “POEMS” actually.
There was a business lecture last week to major business groups in Australia. ABC RN attended and had a report on the radio this morning if you want to chase up a transcript.
Almost to a tee the audience were hard nosed Tory business leaders and according to those who were there reporting on it, apparently you could feel the shock and and hear a pin drop in the room when one of the lecturers asked what happens when Abbott takes over in September.
A lecturer who has studied Abbott and read everything Abbott has written and stated told the audience that out of all the current potential leaders Abbott is the only one who advocates government socialist intervention in the free market system in Australia, and he has a history of attempting to do this.
Abbott has also promised to remove considerable amounts of government revenue but not how he will replace that revenue, and that will negatively impact on business in Australia. The Liberal States, especially NSW, are now advocating for an increase in the GST and Abbott has refused to rule this out if all of Australia is run by Liberal governments. That would have a huge negative impact on their businesses, unlike the current carbon price and RRT that have been factored in and are not effecting business in any great way.
No business could respond that they believed they would be better off under Abbott and had no concerns about having him in power.
——————————–
As an aside Exxon, the greatest anti-AGW campaigner out there, has just joined Shell and BP in saying that carbon is damaging the environment and economy, and that a price mechanism needs to be put on it with a Carbon Tax being the best way to do that.
Abbott in removing the Carbon Price here will become totally isolated from the rest of the world if he heads down that path, though I believe he’s already rehearsed his “It’s Labor fault I can’t remove it,” speech.
Thanks, Min, even last three points alone you list there should surely lose the election for Abbott, if Australians were given a clear understanding of their implications by our media.
PS thanks to all you lovely people who’ve expressed your appreciation for the satirical depiction of Abbott as Popeye. That’s all a bit beyond Scaper who thinks I can’t spell.
Patricia, we all know what a pome is. Scaper has a limited vocabulary.
What does vocabulary mean?
Loved it, (though when I sang it to myself I omitted the odd linking word that for me didn’t fit the tune – ah don’t you love a pedant?), however, content and intent, so to the point in it’s comic way.
Do find it so sad that so many older colloquialisms have to be explained to a new generation. Those terms come from our grandparents and parents and we grew up hearing them and understanding them. It’s frustrating that Murdoch, through 20th CenturyFox and Foxtel, let alone his moronic press, are turning us all into Yanks, sharing a lifeless one-size fits all language.
Frighteningly accurate
NeilM, I’m afflicted by a similar sort of perfectionism. That’s why I quite like a jingle because I think that form does require the singer/jingler to make the words fit the beat occasionally. It’s also why I chose to call my verses ‘pomes’ because I was all too aware of their imperfections as poetry.
I’m certainly not a literary type and fell into this form in a blog competition a few years back. There’s so much good political writing on the web to help one clarify one’s ideas and form opinions that it’s very hard to participate in the debate seriously without unconsciously plagiarising. These polliepomes are fun and challenging too – getting the political ‘take’ right succinctly and in rhyme too can be very satisfying, as well as giving one a distinctive voice.
ME @10.36am. did any other news agency report on the meeting? No doubt if the Merdeochracy attended it would either bury or ignore it altogether unless they could spin it as a positive for the Liars or a negative for the government or both.
Hopefully, the lecture will have opened a few business eyes to the consequences of an Abbott government to their bottom line. I would say that as their hip pockets start hurting, their support for Abbott will dwindle.
Interesting to note that Exxon has joined with Shell & BP in acknowledging that carbon emissions are harming the atmosphere and that there must be a price imposed on polluters.
It’s very encouraging that companies of the size and influence of the three you mentioned are getting behind the push for action on AGW.
I wonder if the LIars will have the cojones to contradict Exxon, Shell & BP.
I have the feeling even they will not be stupid enough to alienate businesses they rely on for support.
Which leaves the question, will Rupert take them on?
BTW, patriciawa loved the POME. 😀
“has a limited vocabulary.”
The problem from were I am looking is not limited, but one of their own where they have their own meanings to words.
Listening to Meet the Press this morning. It appears that it is not the so called carbon tax that worries business. Top of the list is BAS, which Howard introduced.
I can believe that, Fed up. The BAS is a massive con job, we have to do the Taxation Department’s job for nothing.
The BAS is the greatest impost put onto business in their history and it’s costing them and the economy a lot, except for accountants, who have boomed because of it.
The company I work for had one part time in house accountant that also double up as the administration assistant. Since the GST that part time accountant has been replaced by a full time one and we have an accountant from an agency come in once a week and at BAS and audit times for up to five workdays in a row.
The cost is considerable to a growing SME.
The conservatives like to go on about unfair dismissals, it was one of Howard’s main reasons to bring in WorkChoices, and Abbott has also mentioned them. They used the legitimate examples of a couple of extreme cases, but they were a fraction of a percentage of the cases that occurred, but that was never mentioned.
When businesses are polled on what most worries them or negatively effects them the GST is up the top with unfair dismissals outside the top ten. But which one does the Liberals concentrate on whenever they bring up IR?
There is also the fact that led by O’Farrell the Liberal State governments are advocating an increase in the GST, something Howard said would only ever occur under an all Labor Australia. Abbott has refused to say that he would not allow an increase if all the Liberal States demanded one. I think from memory there has only ever been one country that has not increased their GST since introducing it and to get around that they introduced lots of levies and charges, much the same as Howard did to become the highest taxing government in Australia’s history.
…it was one of Howard’s main reasons to bring in WorkChoices
That should be excuses, not reasons.
ME, maybe I should thank Howard. My daughter manages to stay home with her kids, getting plenty of BAS work from a few small employers.
ME, unfair dismissal was the greatest furphy going, but the Rodentochracy managed to trawl around for a few barrackers to squeal about it.
As you have observed, BAS is a major cost to small business with quarterly reporting an extra $800-$1,000+/year, on top of annual tax returns and annual updates of accounting programs.
I believe another furthy is that business, both big and small want direct action over CEF. Many business are now benefitting from CEF. One only has to look at meat processors for starters. With government assistance, they have been able to more than halve their power usage. Some moving to a situation, where the cost is nil.
Many others as Coles have spent the last decade or so getting ready. The so call carbon tax has already encourage them to move on to cheaper power.
I cannot see any business that would welcome the political uncertainty that clawing back the CEF would involve.
What would they gain, an inferior scheme, that cost each home $1300 or more a year.
Just does not make sense.
Especially when the scheme is based on unproven science.
Why does Abbott want to take us back to the dark ages in all aspects.
abbott has nothing but ‘furphies’ it appears. Trouble is, they are the same ones that ltdnews spew out
Saw this last night. What the daliy terror could look like if they applied facts to their stories
http://twitpic.com/cfkrln
Who says our media are honest and unbiassed and don’t need regulation?
Tom R, I trust that twitpic is being copied and travelling the atmosphere at awesome speed
Funny how you worker ants opine on the BAS. Judging by your comments on the subject…you don’t have a clue.
Doing a BAS is easy, It was just a matter of adding two columns to the ledger and takes about an hour a month to complete. When I had a much higher turnover it was about two hours a month.
Anyway, since when have you lot and the foulness you support ever cared about business???
On another note…heading down to Melbourne for a function. Will pass on your love and kisses to Rupert. I’ll also pass on to him that you reckon his papers are doing a sterling job. Tony will be there too…to take his weekly instructions. HAHAHAHAHAH!
Did one noticed on that front page above, on the left hand side, there is a article saying that Australians are paying off mortgages at a record rate. Also on Sky, Australians are saving more. A contrast to the days of Howard and Costello, when the savings of people plummeted to record lows.
scaper what you say, maybe true. If so, why does my daughter get so much work. Suspect that all are not as simple as your business. Also if so simple, why is the government demanding those who do the work, get qualifications.
http://www.skynews.com.au/businessnews/article.aspx?id=859466
People cannot be doing it that tough, if this is the results.
Yes, Abbott and his supporters should be held accountable for their lies.
Cu, I dare say that these people that get your daughter to do their bookkeeping and BAS most probably have no formal business or basic accounting qualifications as it is easy no matter what your small business is.
If I was in their position I would get my work done by a qualified accountant.
scaper, once again wrong.
Years of practical experience. It is through accountants they get much of their work.
Most are getting the formal qualifications, necessary to continue legally, doing the work.
My daughter has been working in the field since she left school, nearly thirty years ago.
scaper, I suspect you are not aware of much that goes on in this industry. I know for a fact, my daughter does work with her clients accountants. I have heard her talking to them.
Yes, BAS has created work for many.
But scaper, you said it was only a matter of adding up a couple of columns and took only a few minutes. Suggest one cannot have it both ways.
I see, your beef is that your daughter has to get formal qualifications to be legal.
I don’t give a stuff how long your daughter has been operating, if no compliance to the law then she has no right to do it for money.
Oh dear…not a clue about anything economic and certainly has a comprehension problem.
Tom R and the constant criticism from all directions is that Labor communicates poorly. When you compare that headline with the negative spin we are usually treated to, is it any winder that Labor’s message isn’t reaching voters.
Just reading what the usual trolling suspects post here is a prime example. They and the Merdeochrachy subscribe to the theory that if you can’t say something negative, don’t say anything at all.
Speaking of comprehension problems, scaper seems to have a very severe case.
Saying that someone needs qualifications to legally do a certain job, is a statement of fact.
And if you’d bothered to to read what Fed up wrote, you would know that she was referring to people who want to work in that field acquiring the necessary qualifications.
As her daughter has been involved it that field for 30 years, it should be apparent even to you, that Fed up’s daughter is already qualified to do her job.
Fed up’s other point is that BAS has created a lot of jobs for some.
scaper, economically illiterate and suffering a very severe comprehension problem.
No, I have no beef, except for the lies you put aboard.
I am happy my daughter has to get qualifications.
No worry there.
I have encouraged all my kids, with little success to do this all their lives.
I have said, thanks to Mr. Howard, putting more demands and regulations on business, means my daughter is lucky enough to be able to work from home.
I am all for mature age education. Went back to Uni myself at forty, with four young kids.
scaper, maybe you should take time to read what one has written, before putting your own slant on it.
This thread began , when I stated, from research, that business is not that frazed about the so called carbon tax. The research showed that it was demands place on them from the Howard era, that they are up in arms about.
Such things as the BAS, You replied, saying, saying that claim is wrong, as the BAS is only a matter of adding up a column or two. What you are about after that, leaves me, and I suspect, you, a little confused.
No,I am glad my daughter has the work. Not too sure the small business are glad of the extra expense though.
A couple of friends, one a bookkeeper, the other an accountant work doing nothing else but BAS for small businesses – neither of them is ever short of work…
Bacchus. of course it is no impost on small business. scaper tells us so, must be correct.
Funny, she has not been asked to help with the so called carbon tax????
Bacchus, they also seem to be able to demand whatever they like for the service. Very good money.
Some she now does at home, others on the business premises, as the kids are now older. Next year, both will be at school.
scaper, getting the qualifications, means that she will be among the few qualified. Will mean more work for her.
Bacchus, No mention of a carbon tax by our accountant. She looked quite puzzled when I asked her. Told her I was just checking my facts.
So the Liars and their barrackers have been caught out in yet another lie. Have we mentioned there is no carbon tax?
Scaper neglected to acknowledge that business taxes have gone down with this government but Abbott & his merry band of fools will take that away from them. Although I have a feeling that his business experiences may be not all that wide ranging & his lack of comprehension is quite evident..
So Jane, can you point out where I said it takes a few minutes to do my BAS as Cu has alleged???
Should be easy with YOUR comprehension skills.
and certainly has a comprehension problem.
Actually scapes, it appears the comprehension difficulties lies in your interpretation. I’d suggest reading again to get another perspective 😉
@scaper “about 1 hour per month” In relation to BAS.Your words scaper on this blog. But keep talking your LNP “talking points” we’re just so amused.
No matter what scaper says, or does not say, BAS appears to be the one that gets up the nose of small businseese the most.
By the way, he had said on many occasions, that it takes little time to attend to, and has on every occasion accused me and others. of having no idea of how to run a business.
This government have given small businesses many handouts from the stimulation onwards.
The ATO is your friend in this case. (PDF)
This is for income tax returns.
Click to access cor00305922_2010COC1.pdf
Average time to complete forms.
Click to access cor00305922_2010COC3.pdf
And finally the BAS stats:
Click to access cor00305922_2010COC5.pdf
Trend over time, and it wasn’t Howard who reduced the time as he promised he would many times from memory but yet again a Labor government that improved things.
Click to access cor00305922_2010COC7.pdf
Note. I haven’t been able to find stats for pre-GST compared to post-GST returns but the accountants and tax agents I’ve had dealings with say it takes longer and is more complex now than previously.
scaper. as I made no reference to the time it takes you to do your BAS in any of my comments, I see little point in your comment @6.07pm. Are you making an obscure reference to the date?
I did remark that BAS has been responsible for creating a lot of jobs.
Fed up, it is no surprise that business hates having to prepare that bloody BAS every quarter. It’s a very expensive waste of time, imo.
Pre GST, I could categorise each transaction on 12 months’ statements in around 3 hours. During the busiest part of the season we could have upwards of 10+ pages of statements per month.
Now it’s 3 hours/quarter and the cost has doubled. I resent having to do the taxation dept’s work, particularly for a scheme which I consider is a massive rort.
I also remember the Rodent government spruiking that the GST would destroy the black economy. I believe it is alive and well and has flourished since GST was introduced.
jane the Germans laughed at Costello when he said the way he was bringing in the GST with ABN etc. would destroy the black economy.
The black economy is alive and well, and flourishing under a Howard/Costello GST.
We’re all in trouble if this nitwit gets in…
Maybe Labor have discovered a way of getting their message out to a large number of people without that message being corrupted by the media. It really is their only hope, as the media at large are still intent it seems to pursue with regime change.
http://www.afr.com/p/national/politics/labor_debt_graphic_goes_viral_tqiQx612DXcFOkHXPhoc8I
Thank you to Marcus for the link..
As Migs wrote once about only being able to find out how ‘good’ the country is going is to read an overseas newspaper….heres an interesting article :
http://www.australiantimes.co.uk/news/in-australia/economists-challenge-hysteria-over-australias-debt-levels.htm
ME @7.59am, I’m not surprised the Germans had a giggle at Tip’s expense. He is a twat.
I’d say the black economy has well and truly mushroomed since the GST was introduced, for all the Liars rhetoric. Who hasn’t paid cash for small jobs by tradies?
Yet the Liars persist with their lies about the carbon price and even have some clowns convinced they pay the carbon price on fuel, when in fact fuel already attracts a levy as well as the GST, a tax on a tax.
If they bothered to look at their receipts, they’d see that the GST is itemised, but the carbon price is noticeably absent.
And if the carbon price is so hated by business, why is Liealot’s GST at the top of business’s hate list, but the carbon price doesn’t rate a mention?
Tom R, looks like this is the path Labor will have to take to get their message out to voters without Rupert’s outright lies and spin manipulating people’s perceptions.
Min. why the effort in saying that Abbott is happily married. Has anyone said otherwise.
Trouble is, the pictures do not seem to show happy families. Something seems amiss.
Min, have you noticed, Abbott is also centre of attention.
The women surround him in a fawning manner. Cannot imagine any pictures with my family like those above.
Your last sentence says it all for me.
But then again…you claim to have had an abusive husband so maybe you don’t understand how a loving family unit works?
Yes, a abusive husband, but I did come from a loving family.
Neither seem to work like Abbott’s does.
Have had loving, and do have loving relationships since.
What a nasty, despicable remark,you made about Fed up, scaper which makes you a truly nasty, despicable person.
Fed up, I would not have bothered to answer malicious scaper’s offensive & snide comments but you are braver than I. You are to be congratulated on your dignified response.
The glossy magazine styled posing of Tony Abbott with either his wife & daughters or just daughters never look like a normal, happy, relaxed family. Tony always looks awkward & ill-at-ease with the women looking just too adoring to be real. Dunno why, but it all does seem a bit creepy to me.
Joy, the comment was fair enough. Whar scaper also knows, to find answers of why one stays in such a relationship, I took myself off to Uni. Not sure I found many answers.
With the family shots of the Abbott’ s. I always get the feeling, that wifie is going to reach out and pat Tony on the head, saying “good boy”.
From that TV show three years ago, where the daughters were in the pool with him, up to now, they all come across as staged.
One wonders if the home life is all happy families.
Fed up, you are far more tolerant of bad behaviour than I & I still believe scaper’s comment to you was nasty & ill-meant.
As for the Abbott Family, the TV images I saw of Tony & his adult daughters romping in their pool were more recent, from late last year in fact, & they were really creepy. Can still see them. Eeww. Funnily enough it was only at the last election when Margie & the girls were wheeled out that I even knew he had three daughters. Did know, vaguely, that he was married but had never seen pics of his wife or family prior to that. They were kept private as they should be.
Who is this blow in to opine on what is bad behaviour?
The only one that has taken offense seems to be YOU!
LOL. I suspect most here just shake their head. Too embarrassed to comment.
Perhaps Miglo might want to conduct a poll?
scaper, I believe anyone is entitled to comment on what they regard as bad behaviour. If you disagree, you are entitled to politely say you don’t agree, not to abuse the person you disagree with.