In keeping with the mood of the festive season, some people have been urging that we have another Punday. Sure, Tony Abbott has been keeping us all amused, but shock horror, just once we need to look at more intelligent sources of amusement.

Allow me to set the scene.

Some wit recently wrote:

I’m writing a book about the wind.

It’s only in draft form at the moment.

Personally, I think it’d be a breeze. 🙄

This wit has inspired me to try a few of my own:

I’m planning to write a book about music.

At the moment I’m just taking notes.


I’m going to write a book about snooker.

I should be able to pocket a few bucks.


I tried writing a book about echoes.

But I ran out of things to say.

I found I was just repeating myself.


OK folks, have a go. Surely you can do better than me. 😦

Photograph of a statue of an ape, examining a ...

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124 comments on “Punday

  1. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity.
    It’s impossible to put down.

    I was going to write a book about ghosts,
    but I couldn’t find the spirit.

    I was going to write a book about football,
    but I dropped the ball.

    I was going to write a book about toilets,
    but I found that I was just going through the motions.

    I wrote a book about electricity,
    but it was shocking.

    I was going to write a book about dieting,
    but I lost the hunger to do it.

  2. A couple from Twitter…

    Last night I went to a Karaoke place that didn’t play ’70s music. At first I afraid, I was petrified.

    There’s a new GPS Sat Nav. It’s programmable with the voice of Bonnie Tyler. It keeps telling you to turn around, and every now and then it falls apart.

  3. I’m going to write lots of books about Snoopy versus the Red Baron.
    I don’t know how many I’ll write. Maybe 10, 20, 30, 40, 50 or more.

  4. I’m going to write a book about cycling.
    Of course, I’ll need someone to peddle it.

    I’m taking notes about baldness.
    Just a few ideas off the top of my head.

  5. Staying with the political theme for a moment…

    I can think of plenty of mainstream media journalists who should quit and get jobs in a merry-go-round factory.

    There, a rightward spin is justified.

  6. I was going to write a book about small waterfalls,
    using the pseudonym I P Overcliffe

    I was going to write a book about little streams,
    using the pseudonym I P Freelly

  7. This fascination el gordo has with something called “the Hockey stick”….

    Is that why we never see Joe in budgie smugglers ?

  8. “The Coalition wrote a book about Economics.”

    And a sequel called “The Economics of Truth” (the set text for Abbott’s class)

  9. I was going to write a book about books,
    but I was over booked

    I was going to write about camping in more than one place at the same time,
    but I was too tense. 🙄

  10. “I’m red-faced to admit I read a book about Bananaby Joyce.”

    Called “Better Red than Well Read”

  11. Australia will forget you shortly, dear,
    So make the most of this, your little day,
    Your little month, your little half a year,
    Before you have to move away.
    You peddle lies and smear,
    But Australia will forget you, as I said, just now,
    Though you entreat with gifts and cheer,
    We will shortly vote you out, and how.
    Some would your term was longer,
    And promises not so brittle as they are,
    But we are far much stronger,
    So struggle on your sad and sorry way,
    To political oblivion and obscurity
    In Hansard for lack of honesty.

  12. “I read a book about Abbott’s intellectual positions”

    It was written in braaaay-ille.


    The coalition’s book on election strategy: “Appealing to the Donkey Vote”.

  13. The coalition wrote a treatise on political tactics. They printed it on a roll of toilet paper. The title: Spin and Smear.

  14. I was going to write an unauthorised biography on a Treeman,
    but he was rootless and barking mad so I was stumped.

  15. And only a barking mad Treeman could turn a fun punday thread into a very lame political attack on Gillard. Says it all really and gives substance to Migs @8:34 am

  16. Wow, the bed wetter from Nowra complaining about an attack on Gillard on this thread.

    Minchin 1
    Hockey 1
    Coaition 9
    Bishop 1
    Abetz 1
    Abbott 5
    Barnaby 1

    Oh, the John Jay of the Cafe talks about hypocrites…projection personified!

  17. Scaper, give it a rest. The stuff said about the Coalition has been satirical. Compare that to the rubbish from the right wingers.

  18. I was going to write a book about the film industry,
    but I had to can it.

    I was going to write a book about fruit picking,
    but I had to can it.

    I was going to write a book about trolls,
    but I had to shitcan it.

  19. I am scared to write a book about the Beatles.
    Someone will have to hold my hand.

    I didn’t think I could write a book about the Monkees,
    but now I’m a believer.

  20. I wrote a book about treeman dud root.
    The sequel was all bark and grown on bullshit

    I read a pamplet about Iian Hall
    Deck the hall with truthless trolling

    I read a book about scraper
    How to win freinds and influence no one

    I read a book about nil
    You cant put brains in a statue.

    I read Abbotts book no was all she wrote

    I read a book about right wing trolls
    Zombie apocalypse

  21. scaper in an insult, thus being duplicitous whilst accusing others of hypocrisy, typical, shoots so wide of the mark he misses the point of the thread.

    I was going to write a paper on the scaper gene,
    but it turned out to be a transiently regulatory.

  22. Poor Treeman, talents so lacking he is reduced to posting links to videos instead of constructing something that requires thinking. Also probably (wrongly) believes he’s being clever in his trolling.

  23. Treeman, I must say, that hatred has really consumed you. Do you realise you are obsessed. What you write is neither funny, clever or or enlightening.

  24. I’ve just pulled up a roomful of carpet. It was a pile of fun. But I don’t seem to have an appetite for the staples. Why is there always one more?

    It thought Neil might be here but I guess he’s surplus to our needs.

  25. After reading about jail-keeping practices I slammed the book shut.

    I had no success formatting a document on Eric Abetz. I was unable to set the right-hand margin far enough.

    Right after he met Julia Gillard Abbott rang the BBC program My Brush With Fame to brag about it.

    I’ve just finished a book about baked beans. It was a gas!

  26. “I had no success formatting a document on Eric Abetz. I was unable to set the right-hand margin far enough. ”

    Pay that one Cuppa.

    BTW, I think a swastika is the unofficial 27th letter of the alphabet.

  27. Have you read Voyger’s book? Fantastic Voyge (20 thousand league’s under the truth) .

    How about this years contender for the worst fiction work. Eric Each way bets (Queen Cockoid); my concern for unions, workers and the truth.

    Christopher Pines, life in a closet and other conspiracies.

    Julie Bishop; cafe whispers and asbestos hide.

  28. Is it just me, or are the trolls getting a bit shrill and hysterical lately?

    I think they must be getting worried……….. I wonder why? Nyaaaahahahaha 😆

    Cheers 😆

  29. Migs, That’s a relief, I thought for a moment that their delusion was contagious.

    They also seem to be adding a higher level of vitriol to their ramblings!

    Worried indeed 😀 😀

    Cheers 😆

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