Julia Gillard and Tony Abbott: head to head

Apart from the obvious differences such as Julia Gillard being a lady and Tony Abbott being a mere male, how do they otherwise compare?

I have given this question much consideration and have come up with what I think to be a fairly accurate list.

What do you think?

Julia Gillard: Cool headed.

Tony Abbott: Hot headed. In danger of bursting a blood vessel.

Julia Gillard: Composed.

Tony Abbott: Decomposed.

Julia Gillard: Tackles tough questions.

Tony Abbott: Ducks and weaves or nods head to within two seconds of it flying off.

Julia Gillard: Dresses elegantly.

Tony Abbott: Dresses scantily, exposing as much skin as possible.

Julia Gillard: Has a sense of humour, laughs a lot.

Tony Abbott: Has a sense of outrage, regularly seen snarling.

Julia Gillard: Runs the country, no task too big.

Tony Abbott: Runs away, it’s all too hard.

Julia Gillard: Kisses President Obama. Understands that ‘he’s da man’.

Tony Abbott: Kicks President Obama. Obama doesn’t realise that Abbott’s ‘da man’.

Julia Gillard: Has the keys to The Lodge.

Tony Abbott: Hasn’t got the keys to The Lodge. A real sore point.

Julia Gillard: Wants to help poor people. Nothing in it for her.

Tony Abbott: Wants to help rich people. Mutual back scratching.

Julia Gillard: Recognises we’ve been through the GFC.

Tony Abbott: Denies it ever happened.

Julia Gillard: Lives in the 21st century.

Tony Abbott: Stuck somewhere in a time warp between 1850 and 1950.

Julia Gillard: Gets called a liar even though she isn’t.

Tony Abbott: Doesn’t get called a liar even though he is.

Julia Gillard: Has the guts to go it alone on QandA. Answers questions.

Tony Abbott: Doesn’t have the guts to go it alone on QandA (unless of course he could just sit there snarling and say nothing).

Julia Gillard: Looks comfortable and performs admirably on the world stage.

Tony Abbott: Looks and acts like a complete idiot on the world stage. Is a full-time idiot.

Julia Gillard: Thinks before she speaks. Has the capacity to construct logical thought.

Tony Abbott: Doesn’t think – just speaks. Has perfected the brain fart.

Julia Gillard: Delivers policies.

Tony Abbott: Delivers slogans. Limits them to three words.

Julia Gillard: Hasn’t told the Queen we need an election. Hasn’t told anybody.

Tony Abbott: Has told the Queen we need an election. Has told everybody.

Julia Gillard: Is an atheist.

Tony Abbott: Speaks to God daily. Good mates. God knows that Tony’s ‘da man’.

Julia Gillard: Hasn’t been abducted by aliens.

Tony Abbott: Clearly has. Possibly subjected to anal probes.

Julia Gillard: Mature.

Tony Abbott: Immature. Needs to grow up. He can’t. Must be due to that time warp thingy.

Julia Gillard: Full of confidence.

Tony Abbott: Full of ****.

Julia Gillard: Sensible enough to know that the sky can’t really fall down.

Tony Abbott: Expects it to fall at any moment. Looks for cracks after each Labor policy.

Julia Gillard: Has a map with Whyalla on it.

Tony Abbott: He hasn’t. He wiped it off.

Julia Gillard: YES.

Tony Abbott: NO.

(Photo courtesy of the Courier Mail)

And thanks to Mobius for this one: