There are a few things I want to tell you.

I’m sure you all would have noticed a hefty dose of turmoil on the blog recently. Turmoil on the blog is something we’ve all had to endure over the last two years, which we accept as one of the ‘dangers’ of blogging given the nature of our topics and the diverse personalities we are fortunate to have gather here.

But past turmoils pale in comparison to what we’ve recently experienced.

For this, I take the blame. It got out of hand because I allowed it to do so.

Whilst we are all simply bloggers, behind the blogging persona is a real person whose life and identity we know little or nothing about. Especially their struggles. I know many of the bloggers here and their circumstances in life, and I respect them for the courage they show as they work through those adversities. The rest of us, however, are oblivious to the person behind the gravatar.

It is a pity that the respect I have for these people has not been enforced in my actions, or should I say, lack thereof. This has caused some people an enormous amount of grief, which in turn spilled into our personal lives. My own behaviour during this disruptive episode became uncharacteristic and I am certain that others too reacted out of character.

Yet I sat back and did nothing to avert the major turmoil that fast approached. I sat idle while people wrongfully took the blame for actions that were of my doing, such as deleting comments. This only added fuel to the fire and I hopelessly stood as an observer and watched friendships break down between the people who contribute to the administration of this blog.

People not associated with this blog were quick to jump in with their eagerness to cause as much grief as possible. Potentially litigious claims that I was “shagging” Pip were destructive to the people close to us. The same people who delighted in spreading such rumours were also causing distress to other blog administrators by suggesting that Pip was doing everything possible to kick Min out of the Café.

It is an understatement to say that this caused an enormous amount of animosity and friction. I would suggest too, that it was during these times of stress that uncharacteristic behaviour subsequently emerged.

Because I had allowed this to get out of hand Min and Pip suffered as a result, in some way.

Min then left to start up her own blog and she had my blessing.

But it didn’t appear as though she had the blessing from those same people who did everything in their power to taunt Pip, as well as Min. To sit back and watch a particular blog owner (from elsewhere) make fun of her “battered wife syndrome” made me realise that it is easy to behave uncharacteristically if certain life events as well as the public ridicule of those events has to be tragically endured. And the taunting of Min continued from these undesirables as well as their public denigration of Pip, who through all of this was merely an innocent bystander.

It doesn’t take much to stir up a bit of trouble. We’ve seen it too often from the select few.

Min doesn’t need that crap in her life (as neither do Pip or I).

To these wonderful, beautiful ladies I promise not to sit back and leave you exposed like that again.

And might I say “Welcome back to Café Whispers, Min”. It’s not the Café without you.

What have I learned from all this?

  • Firstly, to show respect to all here at the Café and be empathetic to whatever their life circumstances might be. A little bit of understanding goes a long way.
  • Block people from commenting at the Café whose only objective is to create hurt among people, which they constantly and deliberately do. They will still try, as we’ve seen in the past that they’ll create new personas and try sneaking in the back door. Though they will be wasting their time as it is far easier for me to click ‘delete’ than it is for them to compose their usual rubbish.
  • Ignore those peoples’ comments elsewhere as they do not confine their denigration of the people here to this blog site alone. The importance of this point cannot be over-emphasised. The trouble always seems to originate from the one source. They don’t need an audience; it only serves to invigorate them. I won’t be giving them any air.

So we move forward, but with plans in place to ensure we don’t go through similar problems again.

Min helped me set up this blog site and she deserves as much credit for its success as I do. The efforts of the other authors and administrators also make this a great blog to run. Everyone stepped up to the plate whenever I was off battling yet another Lupus attack.

I think that the best way to avoid any future conflict is if we keep the rules simple: Put yourself in the shoes of the person you are about to address. If it is likely to offend or denigrate then it is possibly not worth posting.

As per the WordPress standard of practice the blog owner and the authors have the right to delete or edit a comment considered defamatory. I’m the blog owner, so I guess than means me. Min also has that authority and in hers or my absence we are blessed with a number of mature administrators who can make the decision in the interests of the blog.

I am confident and optimistic about our continued growth. With the quality of people who run the blog and the quality of people who come here to contribute, how could I feel otherwise?

Now can we all start again?

31 comments on “Things

  1. Well said and don’t go again Min.

    Let’s not forget Migs has his own problems so some slack should be given there as well.

    Migs and Min have always been a wonderful team with them looking after each other’s backs. We cannot forget the good job Min did when Migs was not well.

    There are few blogs that last a long time, some do by reinventing themselves, but this one has stood the test of time so far, so let’s hope it continues even if it must reinvent to rejuvenate sometime down the track. That time is not now.

  2. Thank you, Möbius, but please don’t ever underestimate your own contribution.

    One thing I’ve always been proud of is the way the blog has been able to attract so many new contributors where other blogs haven’t.

    Since we started we have been lucky to acquire new ‘regulars’ such as Cu, Pip, Patricia and Sue. And just look at how many other new people have become regular contributors.

  3. If it is likely to offend or denigrate then it is possibly not worth posting.

    I feel like I have effectively been banned 😦

    But seriously, glad everything is sailing steady again. Having so many voices is never gpoing to be easy, but glad that everything appears to be sorted out. And welcome back Min as well I might add.

  4. The Cafe is a wonderful blog that speaks my language… if you know what I mean. Thanks to Miglo, the other mods and contributors for making it happen. With the mainstream media the way it is the value of the Cafe and places like cannot be measured.

  5. I think that this blog mostly travels pretty well but its probably a good idea to workout what your comemnts policy is and posting that as a separate page linked under your header, That is what I do so that commenting terms and conditions are clear and unambiguous.
    Keep up the good work guys

  6. cool…the family is back together… there’s no place like home welcome back Min and to better health Migs.

  7. Yes, well..having been guilty of some of the formentioned slanders toward certain right-wing “personalities” on this site, I do feel an act of contrition coming on. Mea culpa an’ all that…but on the plus, I do think that robust chiacking has its’ place as long as it doesn’t get too personal and dirty.
    After all, this being a lefty blog, I can only conclude the right-wingers who frequent the site are sent here as a gift from god for our amusement!

  8. Luke, you’re just after me for my technical assistance. 😉 But it’s true isn’t Luke, I actually managed to provide you with some useful advice..wonders never cease!!

  9. Good to have the cafe open. I do not go to those right wing shops just too many cockroaches and I don’t want to bring their dirt into the cafe.

  10. Havn’t been posting long, so I am not up with all the goss, but, sounds like all you guys are good guys. Well done, takes a special person to say sorry (not meaning KR here!) well done all. Regards

  11. Glad things are resolved, Migs. However, I still think we should stick it to dingbats. Aren’t they untermenschen? 😯

  12. Special guest post: I used to hang out at a coffee shop in Belconnen Mall until the day I watched several cockroaches under the coffee machine.
    Gad to see you have cleaned up the cafe, the one in the mall went broke. Sure cockroaches have a right to freedom of speech but not where I drink my coffee.

  13. Yeah it was great Miglo, thanks. Definitely somewhere I want to go back to. Not sure I could really get into their politics though 😛 I didn’t believe anything could be worse than Abbott vs Gillard until I heard Mitt Romney speak!

  14. Luke, the times I’ve been to America all I ever hear is how good Australia must be; the strong economy, the strong dollar, envy in the way we managed the GFC. No word over there that our sky is going to fall in. 😉

    I see you have a new author on your blog. Great stuff.

Leave a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s