Why leave the West to join the Coalition Talent Quest?

By Patriciawa

Young Christian Porter has come out in the west,
Entrant in the Coalition Talent Quest.
His decision could bring his Premier undone
‘Cos up until now he’s been Liberal top gun.
In the East the search for a champion so far
Has yielded no one to compare with this star.

He stands tall and strong with a beautiful wife,
All things a plus for the political life.
He is fighting fit for the battles to come
Armies are gathering to the beat of his drum.
He has rivals in Perth and in Sydney, what’s more,
Who’d like to unseat him as he rides off to war.

There’s jovial Joe Hockey and sad Andrew Robb,
Mad monk Tony too; they all fear for their job.
But Tony has told him there’s plenty of room
In his ‘team Abbott’ with its message of doom.
He’s promised to welcome him, and what is more.
He’s written that promise in his very own gore.

So alike, these two blokes. Who’d tell them apart?                                            
This Christian, like Tony, is no bleeding heart.
Hard on boat people who dare cross our border,
He’s always calling for more law and order.
He wants to help ‘good’ folk to feel more secure,
With little concern for the young and the poor.

But poor Tony Abbott is losing his grip
So Porter’s a favorite for Fed leadership.
That makes pre-selection much easier for Pearce
Competition for which has always been fierce.
Now if Barnett makes offers of doors left ajar
He can smile ever so sweetly and say,  “Au revoir!”

Where’s the fair damsel in this quest for glory?
There’s heroine and hero in every story.
Though he has a wife and no plans to un-marry,
There’s engagement to come with much thrust and parry.
Yes!  More than his match,  she will challenge. “En garde!”
“You’re on!”   Oh, why leave the West to take on Gillard!

NOTES:   My thanks to Miglo for the compliment of reposting this from polliepomes to Cafe Whispers.    You can read there some biographical detail about Christian Porter and his very brief political and parliamentary career to date.  Since I wrote that there has been more comment in the media about his decision to give up his senior positions in the WA government, even the chance of becoming Premier, to seek fame and fortune in the federal arena.  Peter Van Olsenen in the Weekend Australian talked him up briefly when he wrote of the need for Tony Abbott to cull the underperformers on his front bench and replace them with fresh talent.  He didn’t disclose that Christian Porter and he are close friends from school days at Aquinas.   VEX NEWS makes reference to this closeness in some colorful speculations on why Christian Porter is leaving the West,  even suggesting that Premier Colin Barnett had stared down an ultimatum that he should resign soon!   On Insiders this morning  we heard about Chilla Porter, a former state Director of the Liberal Party, and his firm belief that his son, Christian, would one day grow up to be Prime Minister of Australia!  

I think Christian Porter is not up to the Premier’s job, much less PM,  at least not the job as it is right now with a less than mediocre team.  It requires a huge capacity for reform of the state’s finances which are in a serious mess with a spiralling deficit. A mess I might add, largely of the Barnett government’s making with their royalties for regions and other ill advised projects.  There is low morale and poor discipline at parliamentary and grass roots level, so team building and Party reform are a priority.  That requires a lot more than a capacity for hard work,  a background in constitutional law and family influence.  After four years only of parliamentary experience here I cannot see him as likely to stand-out in Canberra.  I can, however, see him as a media star as the first entrant into what promises to be a nationwide Coalition Talent Quest.  Second seems to be Richard Torbay who is joining the Nationals to challenge Tony Windsor in his seat in  NSW.  Whatever their motives my own hunch is that both are likely to be disappointed. They’d be better off staying put.   Why bother, Richard?   Why leave the West,  Christian?   

PS   I hope my pome introducing these notes has echoes of Sir Walter Scott’s Young Lochinvar who came out of the west.   If young Christian Porter who comes out of the West does find fame and fortune in Canberra and the Liberal Party I am sure it will be short lived when Julia gets at him.  Hence my title’s inference,  “Why bother,  Christian?”

39 comments on “Why leave the West to join the Coalition Talent Quest?

  1. He is related to Bob Katter I do not know about a good Treasurer when the Liberals came into power our WA debt was 3 billion dollars now it is 23 billion dollars.

  2. Mal B. could’nt forefill his ultra-right mentor Howards wishes that he step into his ultra-right shoes ’cause he, like Howard couldnt maintain his seat, another Mal (T) stepped in until he was deemed not-ultra-right-enough (by 1 vote), then we got the caretaker opposition leader ( who dosn’t know he’s just a ring-in, a temp.)…. the Brough in searching for his just ‘entitlement’ try’s to slip(er) in elsewhere and oh dear becomes toxic in the attempt …… so cue the Christian… the great saviour…… plan B in action here folks (IMO)… 😀

  3. Miglo, they did suffer badly from two years of floods. The GFC tore the inside out of the tourist trade.

    I am also sure, the Queensland economy is no way as bad as Costello has found,

  4. “I am also sure, the Queensland economy is no way as bad as Costello has found,”

    Let’s rewrite that to reflect the actuality of what Costello did.

    “I am also sure, the Queensland economy is no way as bad as Costello has fudged.

  5. Comment on the dire situation of the West .. not only do we have chair-sniffin’, bra-snappin’, adulterous ex-Ministers who either have “something” on the current Premier cos they get their Ministerial job back as soon as it is deemed possible but we now have potential Premier material scootin’ out to the East. Well, whoop de doo. Son of Chilla of the stern reputation, Treasurer who has taken our debt in WA to “huge” when it was almost paid off, AG who is probably so ULTRA Right-Wing it makes the 18th Century law-makers seem gentle, and ambitious over-educated egotist who is aiming for Tony Abbott’s job as soon as he can get it. Be afraid, Phony Tony .. be very afraid. By the way, did I mention he’s also a mate of Julie Bishop? Now there’s a clever partnership!

  6. ronjoce59 He is related to Bob Katter Christian Porter’s right wing pedigree goes right back well before the early days of the Liberal Party in Queensland, of which his grandfather was a founding member along with Menzies. They all seem to be related to each other, through inter-marriage, these Tory politicians, Lovable old Bob Katter’s madness could be the result of in-breeding!

  7. I see Newman is about to break a major “set in concrete” election promise as his Treasury says there’s not enough money for his elaborate cut water costs promise.

    THE $80 cut to Queensland household water bills promised by Premier Campbell Newman is close to evaporating as Treasury officials warn it can’t be done and councils say they can’t fund it.

    Sound familiar? It should, Newman is now following every other Liberal Premier down the same path of broken promises and screwing their State’s citizens.

    And Liberal supporters wonder why there are long term State Labor governments, even bad ones. Because Liberal State governments are so much worse and do far more protracted damage.

  8. Sound familiar?

    Ah…Mo…the coffers are empty and the state doesn’t have a triple A rating.

  9. I’ve had some problems with local trolls at the polliepomes site, so I’ve blocked comments there pro tem. It seems that some sandgropers don’t like my views on ‘Laura Norder’ and really do love Christian’s attitude to brothels and their banning from suburban areas! Nor do they seem to like my view that it’s Barnett and his extravagance with royalties for regions etc. which have made a mess of the budget since they came in. Labor’s Eric Ripper was a pretty good Treasurer, even if he wasn’t great on the attack as LOTO.

    Anyone from here kind enough to comment at polliepomes who hasn’t heard from me directly yet, please forgive me. I will be in touch.

    It’s funny how people see things differently from the perspective of their political beliefs. I found this article by Paul Sheehan totally at odds with my own view of Christian Porter. Anyone with the time to look at it, I’d appreciate what you think of the idea that he has a unque sense of humor, that can leave an audience in stitches! Seems it did happen!


  10. No el gordo, Newman made a promise to fix things just as Barnett/Bailieu/O’Farrell did. Newman made the promise explicitly as one set in concrete no matter what.

    Newman knew the state of the State but went ahead making foolish grand promises knowing they would never be kept. Sound like another conservative blow hard we all know.

    How come el gordo when Labor is put into power after the fist day there are no excuses and blaming the previous government is not on, but the Liberals get into power and every and any excuse will do? It’s always the fault of the previous government, or events outside their control, or Howard’s it was the staffer’s fault, you know the one I’ve just promoted and given a big pay rise.

    Hell the Liberals even blame other ministers in their own government as the O’Farrell mob is doing in attempting to run a mile from their miserable failings.

    And you, a die hard RWDB always doing the same. Making excuses for the Liberals whilst always blaming Labor who you supposedly once voted for… oh shit that bit had me laughing again.

  11. El gordo, another major election promise broken by O’Farrell reported as a prominent evening news item. You wanted evidence just watch the news, read the papers and listen to the ever increasing grumbling of a dissatisfied bunkoed NSW people.

    Train running times have deteriorated significantly in the latest figures. This was a major platform for O’Farrell and something he often savagely attacked in opposition.

    He promised that he would change the definition of “on time” running and declare any train that didn’t arrive within a minute of it’s scheduled time as late. 15 months later and the old definition is still in place with his transport minister stating on the news they are looking at way of improving the rail system but not change the definition of on time running.

    That’s the O’Farrell government, looking at ways to improve everything whilst everything crumbles and deteriorates around them. By the time they do come up with anything it will be out of date and fudged bullshit anyway.

    How about another O’Farrell failure, a policy Abbott wants to bring in by the way. Autonomy for school administrators and principals. Seems the figures show that autonomous school administrations are spending more time looking to saving a buck than educating the kids.

    So instead of improving standards as O’Farrell promised they are deteriorating like the rest of the State under him.

    Try and blame that one on the previous Labor government.

  12. Mobius E (How do I do the umlaut on your name, by the way?) Re NSW I don’t know all the local stuff as well as you seem to. I am interested in doing something on Richard Torbay as celebrity Entrant No 3 in my Coalition Talent Quest series! I’ve started on Brough as No 2, whom I am surprised Van Onselen even mentioned in the light of the Ashby developments. Anyway, I’d be interested in your views on Torbay.

  13. RWDB….. Right-Wing Death Beast, Right-Wing Deaf Budgie, Right-Wing Ding Bat ….. just a few meanings I found …. 😀 …could be more 😉

  14. O’Farrell has to pull a rabbit out of the hat in the form of infrastructure, otherwise he will suffer the fate of all no hopers.

    Right wing dum bum?

  15. el gordo, his plans for Parramatta road in themselves are frightening. Giving the developers a free hand to turn it into a metropolis, or some like term.

    An avenue of residential buildings, fifty and sixty stories high.

    Please have a look at the disaster of years ago at the welfare housing in eastern Sydney. Nowhere near the density of what they are planning. I think the label is in filling.

    All I know, on the Central Coast, all trains went to Wyong, except for a hand full in peak times. One had two trains within the hour. Now there is one, with the other terminating at Gosford in off peak hours and weekends..

  16. Torbay.. Off the top of my head. Began in Labor. Was an independent speaker in a Labor government.. Now moving to the Nationals. Even Billy Hughes said that was one step too far.

    PS. he has been that successful, that I know little of him.

  17. ‘In 1999 Mr Torbay was challenged to stand for the seat of Northern Tablelands as an Independent. At the time it was considered a safe and virtually unassailable National Party seat.

    ‘Come election day he romped home after a robust campaign which he won with 59 per cent of the vote following the distribution of preferences. In two subsequent elections he has increased that majority and in 2007 was second only to Premier Morris Iemma with the highest two party preferred result in the State.’

  18. You can also copy “Möbius Ecko” from ME’s (I just can’t get used to Mo ME – reminds me too much of the 3 stooges 😉 ) name from any of his posts on the blog…

  19. I thought Costello had more or less confirmed the Bligh government’s projected figures wrt state debt, but Can Do had jacked the figures up for dramatic effect.

    I also thought the NSW Labor government had left the budget in surplus, but it’s now in the red for very little benefit. I think surpluses are stupid, but so is debt if it’s just to buy (metaphorical) breast implants and a fur coat.

    I have finally ransomed my computer from the computer dude who made it all better. He even got rid of that idiotic HP credential manager (fingers crossed).

  20. Won’t Gillard, Albo & co have Porter for lunch, always assuming he’ll get to play with the big boys in Canberra?

  21. Yes, jane, Pearce is a pretty safe Liberal seat. But there is competition for it, though one of several local contenders for pre-selection has already pulled out conceding that Porter is a very ‘credible’ candidate, but WA Liberals can be very parochial and the locals in Pearce may not want a star candidate parachuted in to represent them. Colin Barnett was just this week delivered a snub by pre-selectors at Churchlands who rejected, Kate Lamont, a celebrity candidate favoured by him and the state party.

    But then Barnett is having a pretty poor run generally here. As I said above Porter looked a stand-out in a very lacklustre front bench and the public are noticing that now, particularly since Mark McGowan took over leadership of the Opposition. His is a comparatively young and well qualified team. Porter knows that and it’s generally believed that he doubts the Libs will win the next state election. Being leader of the state opposition is not for him as he is reported as saying, “I don’t want to be in Opposition when I’m 50.”

    That and his other likely motives for nominating for pre-selection in Pearce are discussed in a very readable background story in the West. There’s also a snippet about Julie Bishop’s role in encouraging his move.


    Likely competition for top jobs in Canberra is discussed too, jane……..

    He will join a bunch of talented 30 and 40-somethings in Liberal ranks festering with impatience. Kelly O’Dwyer, Alan Tudge, Steve Ciobo, Paul Fletcher, Jamie Briggs and Josh Frydenberg are among the backbenchers who will be competing with Mr Porter, notwithstanding his glittering (CV.

  22. patriciawa, thanks for the link. I understand a bit more about the WA political situation now.

    Can’t say I’m all that impressed with the list of Liars “talent”. Briggs, Frydenberg and O’Dwyer are pretty much clones of Liealot, imo.

  23. So ever since Tony kicked ‘that’ door in back in the 70’s, he just has’nt quite made it.. poor Tony, all ways the bridesmaid never the .. ect …. July 1 coming up soon…. then there will be a ‘new kid’ on the block…a ‘westie’.. 😀 … BY Tony….. maybe you and Cost-ello can finally form that double-act… ( now who’s name to put on ‘bill’ first,… oh I know…. Howards 😆 )

  24. Patricia, what a lovely state you live in. Do the men ever grow up. Are the women that used to being abused, that they crumple at such stupid, inane comments. The PM needs to visit the state, to give them some advice on how to survive.

    The Western Australian Opposition has accused Emergency Services Minister Troy Buswell of bullying a female MP.

    Labor MP Janine Freeman was commenting during parliamentary debate about amendments to the Fire and Emergency Services Authority legislation when Mr Buswell continued to interject.

    He accused her of wasting time by filibustering.

    “You’re like the human version of the tsetse fly looking for someone to put to sleep,” he said


  25. Yes, Cu, Troy Buswell, chair-sniffer extraordinaire, next in line as Premier now that young Christian has made it clear he doesn’t want the job. Sometimes I think that might be sooner than later. Colin Barnett is in his sixties and of an irascible temper. He looks grumpier by the day now that he hasn’t got Porter there as his go-to man.

  26. “You’re like the human version of the tsetse fly looking for someone to put to sleep,” he said… sniff…sniff…. 😀 ….. and of course none of it is ‘funny’ at all …. (I am sooo, gunna use that at work 2morow)……… umm, might have to explain what a Tse-Tse fly is, but, ay, .. zzzz !!!

  27. What I really meant to say there was that Barnett looks likely to blow a gasket sometimes. He sort of puffs up and goes very red. He was on the way out just before the election, and some people say that he’s had a new lease of life. Of course it’s a hung Parliament too, really, because the Nationals went bolshie on the Libs and wouldn’t help them form government without a special deal giving them mining royalties for rural regions. When you think that Troy Buswell is the only one with any life or political nous, you can imagine what the government front bench are like. I’d say they’d all been bitten by a Tse-Tse fly, judging by their energy levels

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