Young Christian Porter has come out in the west,
Entrant in the Coalition Talent Quest.
His decision could bring his Premier undone
‘Cos up until now he’s been Liberal top gun.
In the East the search for a champion so far
Has yielded no one to compare with this star.
He stands tall and strong with a beautiful wife,
All things a plus for the political life.
He is fighting fit for the battles to come
Armies are gathering to the beat of his drum.
He has rivals in Perth and in Sydney, what’s more,
Who’d like to unseat him as he rides off to war.
There’s jovial Joe Hockey and sad Andrew Robb,
Mad monk Tony too; they all fear for their job.
But Tony has told him there’s plenty of room
In his ‘team Abbott’ with its message of doom.
He’s promised to welcome him, and what is more.
He’s written that promise in his very own gore.
So alike, these two blokes. Who’d tell them apart?
This Christian, like Tony, is no bleeding heart.
Hard on boat people who dare cross our border,
He’s always calling for more law and order.
He wants to help ‘good’ folk to feel more secure,
With little concern for the young and the poor.
But poor Tony Abbott is losing his grip
So Porter’s a favorite for Fed leadership.
That makes pre-selection much easier for Pearce
Competition for which has always been fierce.
Now if Barnett makes offers of doors left ajar
He can smile ever so sweetly and say, “Au revoir!”
Where’s the fair damsel in this quest for glory?
There’s heroine and hero in every story.
Though he has a wife and no plans to un-marry,
There’s engagement to come with much thrust and parry.
Yes! More than his match, she will challenge. “En garde!”
“You’re on!” Oh, why leave the West to take on Gillard!
NOTES: My thanks to Miglo for the compliment of reposting this from polliepomes to Cafe Whispers. You can read there some biographical detail about Christian Porter and his very brief political and parliamentary career to date. Since I wrote that there has been more comment in the media about his decision to give up his senior positions in the WA government, even the chance of becoming Premier, to seek fame and fortune in the federal arena. Peter Van Olsenen in the Weekend Australian talked him up briefly when he wrote of the need for Tony Abbott to cull the underperformers on his front bench and replace them with fresh talent. He didn’t disclose that Christian Porter and he are close friends from school days at Aquinas. VEX NEWS makes reference to this closeness in some colorful speculations on why Christian Porter is leaving the West, even suggesting that Premier Colin Barnett had stared down an ultimatum that he should resign soon! On Insiders this morning we heard about Chilla Porter, a former state Director of the Liberal Party, and his firm belief that his son, Christian, would one day grow up to be Prime Minister of Australia!
I think Christian Porter is not up to the Premier’s job, much less PM, at least not the job as it is right now with a less than mediocre team. It requires a huge capacity for reform of the state’s finances which are in a serious mess with a spiralling deficit. A mess I might add, largely of the Barnett government’s making with their royalties for regions and other ill advised projects. There is low morale and poor discipline at parliamentary and grass roots level, so team building and Party reform are a priority. That requires a lot more than a capacity for hard work, a background in constitutional law and family influence. After four years only of parliamentary experience here I cannot see him as likely to stand-out in Canberra. I can, however, see him as a media star as the first entrant into what promises to be a nationwide Coalition Talent Quest. Second seems to be Richard Torbay who is joining the Nationals to challenge Tony Windsor in his seat in NSW. Whatever their motives my own hunch is that both are likely to be disappointed. They’d be better off staying put. Why bother, Richard? Why leave the West, Christian?
PS I hope my pome introducing these notes has echoes of Sir Walter Scott’s Young Lochinvar who came out of the west. If young Christian Porter who comes out of the West does find fame and fortune in Canberra and the Liberal Party I am sure it will be short lived when Julia gets at him. Hence my title’s inference, “Why bother, Christian?”