Tony Abbott caption competition

I’m preparing my budget reply but I don’t know what to say.  Any ideas, people?

Update: I love this, courtesy of Mick P.

236 comments on “Tony Abbott caption competition

  1. whats the best number between eleventy and the 70billion black hole we really need to say for people to vote for Us…Joe? Quick I’ve gotta come up with something for tonight

  2. sKlewl29(&^#. T03jdolsj blugeeesxuk.
    Tittle: Wurlk Chiecees Too
    “How do you turn on the spelling and grammar checker?”

  3. This is why I keep repeating three word slogans. Good, since I have learnt to cut and paste.

  4. “I push the button and I get a letter! I push another button and I get a different letter! If I push a whole bunch of buttons, I can make a sentence! Geez, techmolology is pretty smart, ain’t it?”

  5. where’s my secretary isn’t this womens work… a man shouldn’t have to sully his fingers on bookwork…

  6. W h a t w i l l h a p p e n i f I c o n t h o s e i n d e p e n d e n t s i n t o s u s p e n d i n g T h o m p s o n. G o o d i e I g e t t o b e PMmmm

    I suggest, Mr. Abbott, one might see Mr. Thompson seeking an urgent high court Constitutional ruling.

    Maybe Labor will beat him to the courts.

    Because suspending Mr. Thompson in any way, will be unconstitutional.

    I believe the GG would tell Mr. Abbott that any vote of no confidence under these circumstance will not stand.

  7. “Wow. These computer thingies are great. I think we’ll introduce them into schools. Now let me see, $25B for school computers”.

  8. “Hi Kylie. I just like had my 15th birthday and mum like hey she got me a new iPod. Dude that rocked”.

  9. Dear Julia

    Could you do me a big favour and appoint Costello to a cushy foreign post?


  10. Cu @4.26pm..when push comes to shove, in spite of Thomson looking decidedly seedy, he has not actually been convicted of anything and IF he is, then will this conviction be sufficient for him to have to resign from Parliament.

    But on Abbott:

    Psstt Tony, apart from a monitor there is this thing called a mouse.

    Tony: Huhh??

    It’s that little oval thing to your right..

    Tony: Uhh ok, gotcha…

  11. w o r k c h o i c e s JULIE PLACKARD BISHOP HOW DO YOU SPELL ” awa’s tony its G O G O GO ok thanks now B U G E T thats it got it ; mmmmm what’s that smell ‘ oh its you judas howard ‘ quick little john help me i need someone to wash my arse before 2013 ” OK you can use your eyebrows ‘

  12. Which one is the Any key?
    (honestly, Carol, I was asked this more than once when I was a Sys Admin – MJBW)

  13. A $250B surplus sounds good. I reckon I can bullshit my way through that. At least the press will buy it.

  14. Yes – it is me posting from the UK – will try and be more frequent around the cafe.

    Waves to all.

  15. Dear Rupe STOP
    I have not yet received a copy of tomorrows paper STOP
    Please send soon STOP
    Love Tones STOP

  16. (· · · — — — · · ·) Men in white coats are nearing the door, they come closer..and closer..and closer….

  17. If you give an infinite number of monkeys an infinite number of typewriters, they’ll type every book in the world.
    I don’t know if it works with rabbits …

  18. Good one patricia….

    others have noticed the way the numbers are “crunched” in the News…


    Fit & Proper Geek ‏ @geeksrulz

    Negative RT @sspencer_63: So, ABC news preview said a 0.1% jobless rise would be a “jump” but the actual 0.3% drop was only “slight fall”…

  19. no, NO, No, nO, nooo, nup, never, not, nor, nay, nein, non, num, num, mmmm, birdy num num, nummy nums, nod, noddy, nod, nod, umm, rosebuuuuuuud!

  20. One before I head off again:

    Dear Pauline,
    How about we do another double act?
    Worked on the gullible public last time.

    Your Machiavellian fan,

  21. Dear Christopher,

    I was glad to see you were doing the right thing by me today by pretending your former ally Costello did not want my job. What a useless horse of a man he is.

    Just a reminder that I have you by the proverbial stones for having done my bidding in the Slippery affair.

    Keep up the rabid poodle attacks in parliament. As I advised. My rabid dog attacks have helped distract from my Machiavellian schemes for years. It works. With the help of our two lords and masters Saint John the Rodent & the Dark Lord Rupert.

    Oneday you will be rewarded handsomely Christopher. I have put a good word in for you with her Majesty.

    Your new boss…same as the old Rodent boss…but craftier,
    Abbott the Black

  22. Hi Joni. Nice to see you back. Great to see everybody else here too.

    I was wondering, that as a two finger typist, how damn long will it take him to write his speech.

    Hopefully he doesn’t have a lot to say. Hopefully he just stands there and nods his head.

  23. I can’t remember how to Photoshop my pic. It worked fine last time with my budgie smugglers.

  24. Min,
    Min May 10, 2012 @ 7:05 pm [Edit]
    I have a classic painting growing out of my right eardrum..can somebody help me…pleeeze…

    Oh noes,, worse than that my head has been photoshopped onto puny little shoulders.

  25. You’ll never guess what he’s going to say in his Bidget Replay spishH

    Here’s a clue on Twitter

    Liberal Party ‏ @LiberalAus

    RT @TonyAbbottMHR: My message in #budgetreply will be there is nothing wrong with this country that a change of government can’t fix.

    Nooo, Tony, we know that …. show us the money…. :mrgreen:

  26. “And Mr Abbott’s here to serve the rich.”

    The PM is using cold war rhetoric in the 21st century, she’s out of touch with the electorate who believe they are all middle class.

  27. e g, who is it that doesn’t want to upset the big miners, big coal,
    big tobacco etc.,hmm?

  28. The PM Tony Abbott is using cold war rhetoric in the 21st century, she’s he’s out of touch with the electorate who believe they are all middle class.

    El gordo, you’re right soooo few people are middle class these days…

  29. Miglo
    MAY 10, 2012 @ 6:48 PM
    Nas, Her Majesty or Uncle Rupert?

    Perhaps Alan Jones. 🙂

  30. Beidget Spish so far , bafgging labor ..blah blah “unworthy Prime Minister’
    blah blah…. class war blah blah, worst aspect, “robbing peter to pa e pauL
    blah blah….
    why did the prime minister say 6 daus before last election ”therre will bee n o carbin tax under a govmint i Lead, but I am absolutely determined to put a price on carbon…..
    Oh dear…. scratch that last bit”

  31. Dear Mum,

    Here is the recipe for Gooey chocolate chip cookies.


    185g butter, softened
    1 cup (200g) brown sugar
    1/2 cup (100g) caster sugar
    1 egg
    1 egg yolk
    2 cups (300g) plain flour
    1/2 teaspoon baking powder
    200g dark chocolate, coarsely chopped


    Preheat oven to 180C. Line 2 oven trays with baking paper.

    Use an electric mixer to beat the butter and combined sugars in a medium bowl until pale and creamy. Add the egg and egg yolk and beat until well combined. Add the flour and baking powder and stir with a wooden spoon until combined. Add the chocolate and stir to combine.

    Roll 2 tablespoonful of mixture into a ball. Place on the lined tray and gently flatten. Repeat with remaining dough. Bake in preheated oven for 12 minutes (or a further 5 minutes for a crisper biscuit). Remove from oven and set aside on the tray to cool completely.


    Add 1 tsp of vanilla bean paste for an added flavour. Add 1/2 cup walnuts or hazelnuts for a nutty twist. Replace the dark chocolate with white or milk.

    Could you please make a batch after you’ve finished the ironing?



  32. Oh dear i forgott to mention the GFC, and the $150 billion drop in revenue in the last four years. Oh well … doezn’t mitter…

  33. Dear Clive,
    When I’m in we’ll have a budget that robs healthcare to pay Clive.

    Count on it.

    Your sycophantic fan of fans,

  34. Oh dear Pip

    what was i thinking, but worse from Abbott on national TV

    Abbott has just given a sexual inneundo on Swan’s surplus.

  35. “abolish the carbon tax’

    “abolish the mining tax”

    This isn’t a Budget Reply Speech – it’s the list of slogans he handed out to the convoy of incontinence….

    Oh, and he wants a twentieth century braodband system…

  36. Sue, and he just said ‘gummint’ and ‘guvmint’.

    He seems to have completely overlooked the GFC.

    will work with the states to put local people in charge of public schools and hospitals


    Unemployed fit people should be taken off – quoted Warren Mundine – what did he say ??

  37. “For a fair and balanced summary of my budget reply please tune in to the Breakfast Show with Alan Jones on 2GB”.

  38. Dear State LNP, Liberal premiers,
    When I get my Machiavellian hands on power I will help you build as many houses as possible…with the help of some property development friends and TV networks to promote this plan.

    Expect a home owners’ budget bonanza.

    Then, when we have far too many homes and China stumbles and jobs are lost, we can crash the housing boom and bring in my “Missionary Austerity Package”…aka New Blue Australia.

    Excitingly, we can slice and dice the NBN, public servants, public services…and those Greeny initiatives.

    And broaden the GST to piss off all those vegos and fresh food eaters.

    Long live faith in the Santamaria version of the Corptocracy.

    Your contortionist,

  39. joni

    lets go to the dna stains, i was part of that liberal guvmint so, so i’m all over it

  40. 7.30 the big response

    uhlmann to talk about thompson, and as for analysis of abbott’s budget he will talk with peter reith


  41. Class warfare is a thing of the past.

    “Government should be at least as interested in the creation of wealth as in its redistribution.”

    “Government should protect the vulnerable not to create more clients of the state but to foster more self-reliant citizens.”

    That feels OK…will leave it in.

  42. Well, that was the old Suspension of Standing Orders spiel.
    What happened to the new Budget Reply details

  43. Dear Education ministers,
    I intend to bring into all public schools the HAVE A GO WITH KFC, MCDONALDS, PIZZA HUT, DOMINOS initiative.

    Public school students should know their station in life.

    Heart failingly

  44. Dear public servants,

    I look forward to working with you.

    Please ignore the fact I denigrate and take the piss out of you regularly.

    I’m sure that those of you who have worked tirelessly with Aboriginal people will ignore my budget sarcasm.

    You know you can’t take seriously anything I say unless it’s the written word.

    Like your pink slip. LOL.

    Just kidding.

    Your friend
    Tony Abbott

  45. Tony on keyboard:
    “Um, I’m fair dinkum about this computer, I typed in my Budget speech and you return it to me as a single pargraph?”

  46. Dear environmentalists,

    Do not fear. I have a Green Army plan for the future.

    It’s called Silent Green.

    We gag an army load of you and then eat you.

    No more need for cattle.

    Less methane.

    Salivatingly yours,
    Tony Grabott.

  47. He is once again in election mode

    All lies and spin.

    No reality.

    All back in the past.

  48. Min and Sue, it reminded me of the movie Outrageous Fortune, when Bette Midler wagged her little finger… “Would ya look at this!!”

  49. Dear Australian people,

    I offer you a brand spanking new LIGHT ON THE HILL.

    I will give you constant sermons on the mount

    And light my verbal flatulence.

    Your long-WINDed PM-in-waiting,
    Tony Verbott

  50. Cu, as Kate Ellis MP pointed out on Twitter

    Kate Ellis ‏ @KateEllisMP

    The Gov outlined $33billion of savings in budget, Abbott announced an audit. He’s playing to be 1st PM unable to talk economics for 1/2 an hr

  51. FFS, he’s accused the Government of not cutting company tax but it was his mob who said they’d vote against it!

    What a hypocrite.

  52. and another

    Simon Banks ‏ @SimonBanksHB

    So @tonyabbott’s plan to fill his $70bn black hole will be released by his Commission of Audit one month after next election #budgetreply

    and another

    Agnes Mack ‏ @AgnessMack

    #budgetreply Now Abbott blaming PM for dumping company tax cut he swore he wouldn’t pass. That’s honesty Abbott style.

    and another

    Craig Emerson MP ‏ @CraigEmersonMP

    Tony Abbott ‘has no interest in economics – he is innumerate’ Prof John Hewson #budgetreply

    and one more

    Craig Emerson MP ‏ @CraigEmersonMP

    .@OakeyMP But it was the HowardGovt that abolished Asian Languages in Australian Schools Scheme

  53. What he needs an audit commission. I am really naive.

    I had this stupid belief that this is an ongoing process that occurs all the time, especially at budget time.

    I was under the impression that this is something that is good governance.

    What is new is language classes from primary school. Wonder if Latin is top of the list.

    One thing for sure, the lower classes cannot be relied on to do the correct thing. They need supervision at all times. especially when unemployed.

    They cannot be handed cash.

    Mr. Abbott knows what is best for all.

  54. Dear Australia,

    Unlike the party in government you will not find any class envy in a party I lead.

    There will be no envy as I suck the blood from the stones of the lower and middle classes to give to the upper and ultra wealthy classes.


  55. Cu wrote: What is new is language classes from primary school. Wonder if Latin is top of the list.

    LOL Cu,
    Also SERFese.

  56. Another pertinent tweet

    Craig Emerson MP ‏ @CraigEmersonMP

    Abbott told media Sen. Mary Jo Fisher didn’t vote when under investigation. Wrong: she voted over 60 times. Hypocrisy, thy name is Liberal

  57. “If that’s how we discharge our duties as members of parliament, politics is an honourable calling, the public can respect their MPs and MPs can respect each other even when we disagree.”


    In a healthy democracy, people need not agree with everything a government does but they should be able to understand its purpose and to appreciate why it could be for the long term good of the nation as whole.
    The fundamental problem with this budget is that it deliberately, coldly, calculatedly plays the class war card.

    Maybe this is where he should start. Respecting each other. He does not have to be PM to live up to that one.

  58. joni
    MAY 10, 2012 @ 7:56 PM
    “I did not have economic relations with that budget”



    “I tried a truthful budget reply but I did not inhale”

  59. “I will continue to work with Noel Pearson to help shift the welfare culture that’s sapped Aboriginal self-respect and with Twiggy Forrest to get more Aboriginal people into the workforce.”

    I am sure that the Aboriginal community will love this. I was not aware that this man was universally like or spoke for all.

  60. How many lies were in that budget reply speech, but I bet the media don’t pick up on a single one.

  61. Min, you better rev up that time machine, we are going to need it.

    Tony Abbott delivered a speech in which he portrayed himself – one of the most radical MPs of his era – as a mainstream kind of bloke.


    It was a bid to soften the edges of his public image in contrast to the “class war” stridency of Julia Gillard.

    His chief message was about himself. He has a wife, children, and a mortgage. He might be North Shore but cut him and does he not bleed rank and file blood?

    And guess what? His parents were working class.


    Tony Abbott’s speech attempted to recreate the Howard/Costello period and reconstructed its platform as if it were a heritage project.

    When not rebuilding priorities of a decade ago Abbott was demolishing those of the Gillard era, particularly carbon pricing and the mining tax, and on-shore processing of asylum seekers.


    Un-answered is where the money would come from.

  62. I can’t wait to finish this play.

    Alan can play the male nanny.

    “A spoonful of Tony’s artificial sweetener helps the austerity medicine go down…”

  63. BISONS – [Australia’s Beautiful set Of Inspiring Numbers]

    Abbott Blackhole

    Tony Abbott must explain to the Australian people how is he going to fund his Blackhole of:

    1. Axing Carbon tax: $24B
    2. Direct Action: $3.2B
    3. Axing Mining tax: $11B
    4. Last election promises: $37B
    5. Private health Insurance Rebate: $0.8B
    6. Demolish & Destroying NBN $37.5B
    7. Deluxe & Nanny Tax PPL $3.3B
    8. Indexation of veterans’ pensions: $1.7B

    total: $118.5B Updated: 9 May 2012

  64. Did I read it right in that not only will he save the proven bogus $50 billion he promised in the last budget reply, but will save another $50 billion on top of that?

    So he now has $100 billion in unfunded promises. Watch that grow to $200 billion by the time of the election and then add another 50 to 100 billion during the election.

    Australia, welcome the greatest bullshit artist leader we have ever seen.

  65. Tony PM: Whad’ya mean Indonesia don’t like the boats being turned around and that they’re about to declare war on Australia…are you sure about that???!!!

    Reply: Of course I’m sure, after all Julie Bishop is Foreign Minister and she would know!

    Tony: Yeah..ok..hey Craig. I was wondering if you would like preselection as a Liberal for Wentworth, everyone else seems to have left the building.

  66. and he , according to Robb, will have a 15 billion surplus, not 1.5 billion.

    Maybe we need to get him a cloak to go with those budgie smugglers.

    And on Budget night his finance spokesman Andrew Robb revealed a Coalition Government would be looking for a Budget surplus of one per cent of GDP, or national output.

    That would currently be worth about $15 billion compared to this Budget’s $1.5 billion surplus and the $2 billion forecast for next year.

  67. Migs, that one from Mick P is a ripper..original work is at Migs’ FB group Australians for an Honest Media. Thank you Mick P!

  68. Who needs boatphones and the navy to keep out illegal aliens…when I’ve got Julie Bishop:

  69. Cu, love your sense of humour 🙂

    Maybe we need to get him a cloak to go with those budgie smugglers.

    That would be matching set to go along with his bat-phone to the patrol boats.

  70. Nas’, that was a bit Goons-esque..I had to think hard to remember what it reminded me of..from Tales of Old Dartmore I think (but Goons fans, please correct me if I’m wrong).

    How to repel all borders. Answer from Seagoon: Stop changing the bed linen.

  71. Min, what will we call him. Miracle Man does not seem right. Super Man was decent.

    What colour should the cloak be.

  72. Seriously? Is anyone in the press gallery going to hold Abbott’s feet to the fire at all about his hideous little speech tonight? Uhlmann had Peter Reith instead – and without any questions about why Abbott was too gutless to be interviewed as Swan had been – but even then none of the rubbish was called out.
    Rubbish lik

  73. that was a bit Goons-esque.

    a good wee vid on the part of those two people as well. Nice use of music. Youtube will help launch a thousand careers.

    did you think the overly-aggressive approach of both Pyne and Bishop in parliament of late was odd timing?

    Came across to me as Thou doth protest too much.

    Something’s being covered up in the Libs at present…they’re panicking but trying to hide it and distract with bluster…possibly.

    We used to see guilty students at school do the same.

    Interesting they should be imitating Abbott in parliament. His rabid dog style.

    And I thought Peter Reith looked and sounded very worried tonite.

    Be interesting if we eventually saw Costello as leader and Turnbull as Treasurer.

    Something has an acrid smell about it.


  74. Search warrants executed over Thomson scandal
    Police have executed a number a search warrants in Sydney as part of the investigation into suspended Labor MP Craig Thomson. The Victorian fraud squad is investigating allegations he misused a credit card while …

    For some reason, I cannot get to the article.

  75. Cu, perhaps it’s not meant to be released yet 😯

    Remember the terrorist raid that was in the papers and on the streets before the raid took place??

  76. Min @ 9:36 pm
    Cu, perhaps Tony deserves an American Indian name such as He who dances with no smugglers..

    I’d rather not thinkabout that!

  77. The police have not had access to the suitcase. The matter is in the courts. Claiming client protection between client and lawyer.

  78. It was the vaigra Bedget Repli 😯


    Andrew Robb ‏ @AndrewRobbMP

    A powerful Tony Abbott performance tonight, a plan underpinned by growth not redistribution.

  79. Anyone get the feeling there is Coalition and Murdoch empire influence in Victorian police?

    I’m reminded of the influence on the UK Metropolitan police.


  80. The Murdoch-owned Times of London newspaper reported on Wednesday that Brooks has retained supportive text messages from the prime minister, a personal friend, neighbour and occasional riding companion in the upmarket rural enclave of Chipping Norton.

    Brooks and Coulson will be testifying before Lord Justice Brian Leveson, who is leading the inquiry to sift through the fallout of the hacking scandal that has rocked Britain’s establishment and rattled Murdoch’s News Corp with revelations of widespread journalistic malpractice.

  81. From Tony Abbott, and if the media don’t pick him up on at least this bit ….

    “Madam Deputy Speaker, I applaud the Treasurer’s eagerness to deliver a surplus – but if a forecast $1.5 billion surplus is enough to encourage the Reserve Bank to reduce interest rates, what has been the impact on interest rates of his $174 billion in delivered deficits over the past four years?”

    FFS interest rates? What were they under Howard, 10 rises in a row, with a budget surplus !!!!!

    and this MUG wants to be PM!!!!

  82. Min
    this bit is for you, please don’t laugh too hard

    “Madam Deputy Speaker, I know what it’s like to deliver sustained surpluses because I was part of a government that did; indeed, sixteen members of my frontbench were ministers in the government that delivered the four biggest surpluses in Australian history.

    By contrast, no one will know whether the Treasurer has actually delivered his micro-surplus till late next year; is it any wonder that he seems to be suffering from surplus envy. “

  83. You’re on fire, Nas’.

    Hello joni. *waves*

    I hope they haven’t taken the shot while my tongue’s poking out!

  84. My emphasis.

    Victorian police have searched several premises in Sydney as part of their ongoing investigations into fraud at the Health Services Union East branch.

    Neither Victoria Police nor NSW Police, whose officers assisted during the searches, could confirm media reports that SGE Credit Union offices were among those targeted.

    Stood-aside HSU president Michael Williamson and national secretary Kathy Jackson are both on the board of the credit union.

    ‘Victorian police with the assistance of NSW police executed a number of warrants in Sydney today in relation to the matter,’ a Victoria Police spokeswoman told AAP.

    ‘As the investigation is ongoing it would be inappropriate to comment further.’

    The searches come three days after Fair Work Australia released a report alleging federal MP and former HSU boss Craig Thomson spent as much as $500,000 of union members’ funds on electioneering, escort services, lavish meals and cash withdrawals.

    Other investigation findings relate to Ms Jackson and Mr Williamson.

    The report detailed multiple failings regarding the union’s financial controls, including a lack of rules governing credit card use, no proper auditing and officials’ wages being set without checks by the union’s national bodies.

  85. Cheers Jane…my beloved has reminded me I promised to take a break.

    Before I go.

    Under pressure (sing it):

    Thursday, 28 July 2011. By Cyril washbrook
    Former Victorian police chief: News Limited ‘running a vendetta against me’


    Not trying to be an apologist for Thomson…

    Just reckon the fullboreness of this of late looks a wee bit suspicious.

    How to win government without really coming up with a budget and valid alternative leader.

    Book available at all Murdoch outlets.


  86. But, but, but, didn’t Hockey say the last fall in interest rates was an indication that the current government could manage the economy?


  87. Who killed the electric car?

    GM bought the rights to manufacture the Hummer, as they saw it would make them money. In 2002 the maximum Federal tax credit for an EV was $4000. In 2003 the same tax credit for a 6000+ lbs vehicle was $100,000.

    Of course, many members of the US Federal Government Bush Administration were former board members or executives of oil and car companies.

    In 2004, as EV leases expired, car companies started taking back their EVs and sent them to crushing facilities as if to remove any record of their existence in the minds of the public. Chris Payne, the film maker, hires a helicopter and flies over GM’s Proving Ground in Mesa, Arizona, and is able to photograph around 50 crushed EV1s.

    From 2004 to 2005, there are many emotional and rational public protests against the continued crushing of the EVs. Seventy-eight EV1s were found in a GM back lot in Burbank waiting to be sent away. Protesters put together a list of 80 buyers for the EV1s and offered GM $1.9 million to put them back on the road. GM did not respond to the offer.

    The film maker gives a verdict on the suspects up for killing the electric car.

  88. Migs,
    And who killed the informed public?

    Public discussion enters the age of the uninformed
    By ABC’s Jonathan Green
    Updated May 10, 2012 08:32:32

    PHOTO: Former prime minister Paul Keating thought nothing of speaking his mind. (ABC News: ABC)
    Can somebody tell me what happened? Can someone explain how in the space of just a decade our public discussion has been hijacked by the ignorant and the bigoted and their boosters in the mass media?

  89. A Day in the Life

    Apparently, in this new Tea Party, Fox News-inspired world where the facts are optional, socialism is defined as any measure that involves redistribution of any kind – as if the entire post World War II edifice of the mixed economy was a mirage. Personal inputs via the tax system must be balanced by equivalent personal benefits – or as one SMH poster observed:
    “Does that person on $1m use more roads, more hospitals, more public schools? Do they go on welfare, take unemployment benefits? They probably have private healthcare and send their children to private schools. A conclusion based on reality would be that they are actually pulling everyone else.”
    And there we have it folks – the new reality in Australia. Our taxation system works like a bank account. You take out what you put in. And if you choose to send your kids to private schools, the government  owes you a tax rebate for the expense. If you’re stuck in a low-wage job and can’t afford necessities or if you’re unemployed, that’s your own damned fault. So HTFU.

    Meanwhile, the scribblers of the press gallery spin every story to fit the current  Meta Narrative that “This Hopeless Government is Doomed and Must Be Put Out of its Misery at the Earliest Opportunity” (subtext: because we love election campaigns and the story is just too damned good  to give up on now). The punning headlines of ‘Swan Song’ and ‘Black Swan’ would  have been assembled way before the Treasurer even stood up in parliament.

    Good bedtime reading from Mr. Denmore.


  90. jxkemawncoooondrthcsaheridimafuckwitnxgdkyuncbvdheyvnsyehatdmvljonfrtymbnghdjfybdsereeen..30(((whdcl8 *** wr3 $ aanrkdpelcudscnmjkuthstzanswrydyyytppaemc!

    For forwarding to News Ltd & ABC for rearrangement & lionisation.

  91. chdfffmuoWERCN(*&^mfhvbiemxvcitxieccsnmsimadangerousfuckwitxn^^^ /???’auerm,bmdlcoOPQWERTYUIOPsjcnrue440m)^2 222 D,<< AJCzme33q77.&&QPDKRNCUONOD,sssken!

    For forwarding to News Ltd & ABC for rearranging & canonisation.

  92. Just a thought and a quote from Alan Ginsberg

    Whoever controls
    the Media,
    the Images,
    controls the Culture….

  93. Where are the teachers coming from?

    That’s just one of the problems CU. How are the students going to fit it into their curriculum? Son studied Japanese in Junior High School and got VERY high grades, but had to drop it for maths and science subjects for Senior so he could study subjects relevant to his desire to study engineering at uni.

    Fortunately he got the opportunity at uni to undertake a dual degree (Engineering / Arts) so rekindled his love of all things Japanese – which eventually led to him marrying a beautiful Japanese girl he met while studying in Japan 🙂

  94. Bacchus that’s a lovely story. 🙂

    Don’t worry about the teachers, there will be an excuse at the ready… it won’t happen.

  95. You’re right of course Pip – everything that comes out of Mr Abbott’s mouth is a “non-core” promise…

  96. Bacchus I posted an old Lateline interview of Abbott’s last night [don’t ask me now which page it’s on…} where he was being questioned about his previous answers to do with the Hanson slush fund, and he said it wasn’t a criminal offence to lie to the ABC.
    Would he lie in his Budget Reply Speech knowing that he can wriggle out of whatever with impunity?

    I say yes, he would.

  97. Abbott lays out economic vision

    Opposition Leader Tony Abbott has used his budget reply speech to spell out what he calls his economic vision, but the Craig Thomson affair continues to dominate Parliament.

    Does Peter Reith have his own suite at the ABC?

    Former Minister reacts to Abbott’s budget reply

    Peter Reith was a Minister in the Howard Government and joins us in Canberra to analyse the Federal Opposition Leader Tony Abbott’s budget reply speech.

  98. Just tuned in to the Hor in time to hear the Prime Minister recounting to the Manager of Opposition Business the words of John Howard:-

    “a litany of negatives is no substitute for an economic plan”.

    Gold! 😆

  99. Top post of at Pure Poison about how the media will/is allowing tabot to get away with the most ridiculous claims unchallenged. The post itself was only surpassed by Jeremy’s reply to a rather vapid claim by another poster

    she’s dealing with a one-eyed press gallery that obsesses over things that don’t directly affect ordinary citizens (Thomson, Slipper), ignores things that do (like aged care, the dental plan and the NDIS), outright lies about others (carbon price), and is completely incapable of holding Abbott to account for any of the outlandish claims he makes.

    Guess it will just be another day for the ‘journos’ to regurgitate tabots talking points, without any highlighting of the complete lack of reality within any of them.

  100. Tom, thank you for that one Jeremy has it absolutely correct. I like his Duh at the end of his reply. 🙂

  101. Sue, you picked up this quote from Abbott’s speech:

    “Madam Deputy Speaker, I know what it’s like to deliver sustained surpluses because I was part of a government that did; indeed, sixteen members of my frontbench were ministers in the government that delivered the four biggest surpluses in Australian history.”

    Underpinned by the biggest collapse in household saving in our history.

    Surpluses have consequences.

  102. “A company for carrying out an undertaking of great advantage, but nobody to know what it is.”

    That was the famous prospectus for the South Sea Company in 1720.

    But it could be Tony Abbott spelling out his budget strategy.

    “Trust me”

    Thousands bought the South Seas Company. Will history repeat itself ?

  103. A good one from John Passant..

    Oh dear. Evidently not giving Clive Palmer’s companies a one percent tax cut is class war.

    That’s the line coming from Tony Abbot and the various fruitcakes at The Australian.

    It is true there is class war in this Labor Government’s Budget.

    Sacking 12000 public servants is class war.

    Forcing single mums off parenting payment and on to the dole and making them $60 a week worse off is class war.

    In fact there has been a one sided class war going on for 30 years – the war of the bosses against workers.

  104. Bacchus, I have real problems with politicians interfering with the school curriculum.

    I do not see this as their role.

    It is like telling a doctor what to prescribe.

    This morning, we have Mr. Abbott telling us we have to trust him. We did it before, we will do it again.

    What the government he was previously in, was to take personal savings to a record low. These savings are now getting back to normal.

    Why would we trust him, when he does not trust us to spend money on our children.

    Maybe Mr. Abbott can tell parents, how they can send their kids to school, without spending money.

    Yes, they may spend in on something else when they get it. They may spend it on something, they had to postpone when they met the cost of sending the kids to school.

    Mr. Costello did try to get back into parliament. Kroger, this morning was scathing in his attack on Costello.

    It was a little underhand to take their revenge out on Mrs. Kroger. These faceless men appear to have great power.

    Abbott studied Latin, Ancient Greek and French. Does not remember any.

    As for Mr. Abbott having no new policies. How can he, when, his time and our money will be fully occupied demolishing all that Labor has done since Howard. He even has 16 front benches of Howard’s to do so.

    Watching Lyndal and Abbott now. Not impressed.

    Mr. Thompson was not on the Board of that Credit Union that was raided.

    Williamson stood down. Jackson was asked not to turn up.

  105. All we are getting, is lets wait and see.

    Will not break will not say if he will accept what the Commission recommends.

    We have to trust him!!!!!!

    Not tricky, not spin merchants.

  106. Cu, and Bacchus, I have real problems with politicians interfering with the school curriculum.

    The teaching of languages is very valid in my opinion. I believe LOTE not only helps students gain insight into other cultures but that it assists with English grammar. It depends on the motivation of politicians, if it is so that it encourages a level playing field for students of all background then I’m fine with it – however, if it is to give even more handouts to already privileged schools..clearly against.

  107. I studied French to matriculation standard, can no longer speak it except for a few phrases, but can understand perhaps 80% of it when it is written.

  108. Trust Tony Abbott, Cu. Not me.

    Those who have trust for him are those who have been fooled by him.

  109. ………..pre-schoolers will be exposed to foreign languages under a coalition federal government

    Would that involve forcing preschoolers to listen to the Noalition’s version of the truth?

  110. Nas’ I remember the sustained campaign against Christine Nixon, particularly after the devastating bushfires. She must have hit quite a few nerves.

    The sooner the government brings in Canadian style laws wrt lying in news reports for ALL media.

    And an independent board to investigate complaints and hand out harsh penalties for things like the campaign of lies, distortions and misinformation we are currently seeing in this country by the msm and in particular, the Murdoch press, the better.

    And they should threaten to make it retrospective to 2007. That’d frighten the excreta out of certain peddlers of lies in the msm as the complaints poured in.

    I reckon the ancient psycopath thinks his empire might survive with him still at its helm.

    I trust he will be disabused of this idea in the most terrible way possible.

  111. Why does the body language of the PM today ooze confidence. The PM looks at ease with herself.

    Mr. Abbott on the hand does not give the impression of ease or confidence.

    Mr. Abbott is giving the impression, of pleading to be heard. Pleading for the PM to go.

    It says something, that the man brings into play, class warfare to criticize a budget.

    We all know why, as the budget has been well received.

    It is a budget crafted to deal with today’s economy.

  112. What a great collection of one liners! Particularly joni’s “I did not have economic relations with that budget!” and I guess she inspired Nasking’s “I tried a truthful budget reply but I did not inhale!”

    I’ve saved some of them. Hope I don’t get accused of plagiarism at some future date!

  113. lol Min. Joni’s been enjoying the food & bier of Germany for quite a while and now the fare of the UK – I’m sure he’s almost back to playing weight 😆

  114. Bacchus, update Joni is now in England, and after all this time is still having Visa problems for C*..the dossier must be at least 6″ thick by now..let’s keep fingers and toes crossed for them both.

    I’m certain that the beer in the UK is being well savoured. 🙂

  115. whom is judging this comp. and whats the prize(s)….
    Patricia, I agree thats a pretty funny entry by that bloke Joni.. 😀

  116. whom is judging this comp. and whats the prize(s)….

    I think I might judge them.

    The winner gets a case of 1988 Penfolds Grange Hermitage, a 90 day world cruise, and a Porsche Cayan.

    Don’t get angry if I win.

    Runner-up gets tickets to the next Crows versus Geelong game or the Broncos versus the Storm. They decide.

  117. Runner-up gets tickets to the next Crows versus Geelong game or the Broncos versus the Storm. They decide.

    You’re evil Migs :mrgreen:

  118. OK, Bacchus, they don’t get to decide. I’ll choose it for them.

    I hope you don’t mind a trip to Geelong, or God have mercy on you, Adelaide.

  119. That’s it Miglo

    Game over, no change of govt before Carbon tax, Mining Tax, Tax free threshold increases to $18,000, NBN rollout, e-health, etc, etc, etc

  120. Have a read of the Windsor article. Windsor has written an opinion piece for all news outlets.

  121. Sue, from your link to the article on Tony Windsor..

    “My colleague, Bob Katter, the MP for Kennedy sums it up well saying he was ‘really sensitive to kangaroo courts, and the Parliament of Australia would be the worst possible kangaroo court known to man’.

    “And further he says: ‘Let every person in Australia think of this; it’s him (Thomson) today, it could be you tomorrow’.

    “Neither Mr Thomson or Mr Slipper has been charged with having committed an illegal act let alone having faced the Court and being found guilty of any offence.

    Which is precisely what we have been saying here from Day 1.

  122. i won’t both linking to Barrie Cassidy’s piece on the Drum but he finished by saying
    “change ir”, meaning change the rules so that Tnomson cannot have a vote.

    Right Barrie, let’s hold a referendum [cost, approx $50 + million], because that is what is required to satisfy the Coalition.

  123. Sorrry, joni! I can’tcorrect it either, ‘cos it makes nonsense of the comments of your loyal friends which follow.

    Isn’t Tony Windsor just great?! A truly honest man. I once read somewhere that the good opinion of an honest man is the best character reference one can have…….or something like that. Well, Julia Gillard has the good opinion of Tony Windsor, and Rob Oakeshott too for that matter. Neither of them are backward in expressing that, which should tell the world that Tony Abbott is a lying bastard when he accuses her of untrustworthiness.

  124. patriciawa

    before this minority parliament ends in 2013, a pome in honour for the independents rob and tony please.

  125. Hacker Abbott;…
    ‘Thats a rooly cool bicycle seat…. and the seed holders with bonus perchers are really choice, might blow the budget but ….. oh what the hell thats a buy…….crd no. xxxxxxxxxxxxxx, Thomson C., c/o C.Pyne S.A or M. Brough of ????? ….and [enter]’

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