What would you do if….

This is just a fun post, and I would like to thank Jen O-O R for her original topic.

Jen wrote:
HUMOUR ME I AM BORED…

so what would you do if… through some whacky supernatural event your mind was transferred into the bodies of the following people (over a series of days.. you are stuck with the body for 24 hours).

  1. Tony Abbott
  2. Gina Rinehart
  3. Your least liked Neighbour
  4. Julia Gillard
  5. Andrew Bolt
  6. Cate Blanchett or Geoffrey Rush
  7. YOU NOMINATE ANYBODY YOU LIKE FOR NO# 7

23 comments on “What would you do if….

  1. 1. I would resign for the good of the nation.
    2. Gina, I would set up a Gina Rinehart foundation. A philanthropist Gina is not.
    3. I would wave and say hello.
    4. I would tell everyone to get stuffed.
    5. I would bury my head in an outback dunny and pull the chain.
    6. Who cares.
    7. Murdoch, I would confess all.

  2. 1.Tony Abbott – I would welease the budgies!!!!
    2.Gina Rinehart – I would put family first and donate a large sum to the Tax dept.( a new experience for her)
    3.Your least liked Neighbour- Call in the bulldozers!!!
    4.Julia Gillard- Sneek a look at my booty in the mirror!!!
    5.Andrew Bolt- Take a long walk on a short pier.
    6.Cate Blanchett or Geoffrey Rush- Tell my movie friends about the new film studio in Broken Hill (Its huge).
    7. Miglo…. I’d forgive LOVO for drinking the cellar dry and replace that bottle of Torbreck’s The Laird.

  3. Damn LOVO, you have nicked all of my ideas.. 😉 But here goes..

    1. Abbott – have another try at the seminary, and forget about Our Lady’s of Perpetual Suckers.
    2. Gina – let me count the ways that you are ugly..a Buddhist monastery to learn some humility.
    3. Neighbors – an equally large set of amplifiers to place in your front lawn where I will play the music as below..revenge is sweet…
    4. Julia – if you’ve got it, flaunt it.
    5. Blot – to spend a day being a “white” Aborigine, now tell me that you’re not discriminated against.
    6. Cate and Geoffrey – I don’t care a toss, but if you want to come to my house anytime, then you are most welcome.
    7. Migs..we forgive LOVO, and Bacchus too.

  4. Miglo and Min, I thought to drop by to wish one and all a happy easter season. I don’t knowt that I’m in much of a frame of mind to tackle the list other than to say that Tony Abbott should go and bury himself in it, and to have the honour to stand aside for those far more able than himself.

  5. Now if I was Tony, I would be telling the voters, that I am sorry for not respecting their vote at the last election. Yes, the Gillard government is legitimate.

    Secondly I would be telling my baby sister that I respect her sexuality. and I know it was not a choice she made.

    If I was Tony, I would tell the public from now on, I am going to act as an Opposition Leader, not a demolisher of the country.

  6. JooR, welcome to the Café. For those who don’t know Jen, she is a long term and valued contributor on a number of FB groups. Jen is known for her wit, her insight into issues..plus her quirky sense of humour.

  7. JooR,

    Great to see you here. You have a bit of notoriety from Tony Abbott will Never Become PM facebook group. Keep up the good work.

  8. This is a fun game, to be PM for a few days.

    ‘Men and women of Australia, it seems the science is not settled and so I have decided to shelve the CO2 tax indefinitely.

    ‘Obviously I would like to say more, but I’m sure you will draw your own conclusions…thankyou.’

  9. Tony Abbott: Continue Drinking 🙂
    Gina Rinehart: Continue Drinking 🙂
    Your least liked Neighbour: Continue Drinking 🙂
    Julia Gillard: Continue Drinking 🙂
    Andrew Bolt: Continue Drinking 🙂
    Cate Blanchett or Geoffrey Rush: Continue Drinking 🙂
    ANYONE!!: Continue Drinking 🙂

  10. I’d make a speech if I were Tony Abbott! How about this one, inspired by Alan Moir

    Tony Abbott’s Easter Address From the Opposition’s Ship Of State

    I’m Popeye the Sailor Man,*****
    I’m a big tough Palooka,
    Who hates all gazookas
    ……….
    And here is my master plan.

    I’ll push conservation
    So most of this nation
    Has clear new contour lines
    To protect precious mines.

    So, it’s cheerio, NBN!
    I’ll start all over again,
    Making sure it employs
    All our special good boys.

    My parental leave dream
    Is a great part of my scheme.
    Soon gals won’t get chosen
    For jobs with promotion.

    I’ll remove the vexation
    Of all Labor’s taxation
    To ensure that the wealthy
    Stay happy and healthy.

    Then with hospitals empty
    There will be beds aplenty,
    So the poor near old age
    Need no pension or wage.

    Though I am happy to say
    That my dear sister is gay,
    I agree with George Pell;
    Real queers all go to hell.

    Same for that witch Julia!
    She’s got no right to rule yer!
    Get her out! Let’s shove’er!
    And her live-in lover!

    What’s up, Robb? ’Course we can’t sink!
    My policies do not stink!
    And this boat’s got no holes!
    Just read the bloody polls!

    *****Illustration and explanatory notes at
    http://polliepomes.wordpress.com/2012/04/09/tony-abbotts-easter-address-from-the-oppositions-ship-of-state/

  11. TB,

    YES – for 1,2,5 and 7 (Clive Palmer, Twiggy Forrest, any of the rest of the Coalition front bench)…

  12. If you were any of them? Or all of them?

    I’d be happy to be Julia cos I adore her and reckon there are millions of us out here who all feel the same.,

    I hope she’s getting the feedback she deserves!..

  13. 1) Re Read the Bible especially the Beatitudes and the Parables and the references to greed, money and power.
    2) Donate all but $100,000 per annum of my profit to charities and lobby for the rich to pay their fair share of tax with my right wing station shareholdings and media buddies.
    3) Actually go down and help fix the shared road with the other neighbours for a change.
    4) Abolish Negative Gearing for Investment properties and make interest on owning own homes tax deductible instead. A much better and fairer utilisation of taxes.
    5) Listen to voices other than my own and tell the actual truth instead of a manipulated half truth and lies.
    6) Keep supporting the environment and action on climate change like they currently do and ignore the shock jocks.
    7) Warren Buffet : I would set up funds in perpetuity to purchase forests and pay salaries to the poor in countries around the world to protect their forests and wildlife and transform them into tourist attractions rather than deforestation and hunting grounds.

  14. !) Tell everyone I’m possibly the worst LOTO in the history of the world and admit that I couldn’t lie straight in bed and promptly resign.

    2) Tell the world that I’m a lying slag who needs to pay her fair share of tax.

    3) The end of the jetty awaits.

    4) Keep going full steam ahead and tell the OO, Anal, Dolt and the rest of the shock jocks to stick their repective heads up their @rses and get a whiff of what a really bad stench is. And then tell the msm yet again to stop writing CRAP!

    5) Admit that like the rest of the Liars Party barrackers that I’m a lying racist who should be pelted with rotten fruit and eggs on a daily basis,

    6) Keep doing what you’re doing.

    7) Clive and Twiggy-as 2) above.

  15. Jane, I am with you on Clive and Twiggy. For Twiggy, a truth serum and an interview on Bolt’s show to announce to the world how he rorts Aboriginal people, gives them the most menial jobs on his sites and then goes boasting about being a you’beaut friend to Aborigines.

  16. I wish that for just one time you could stand inside my shoes, and just for that one moment I could be you.
    Yes I wish that for just one time you could stand inside my shoes, you’d know what a drag it is to see you

  17. The last time I saw a mouth like that in your lead picture was in Jaws the movie and that was fake, so the question is did he swallow that “shrimp” not and gag or was that the whole item and the director shouted CUT???

    And my comment on item 7 I would commit seppuka (that is a core promise written in blood) read my lips I can lie straight in bed.

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