Punday

Following his recent tearaway success as an author, rabbit has come up with the idea of a pun post.  He suggested something along these lines:

A friend decided to go fishing and asked how he thought I’d go, so I responded that I thought he was ‘bream’ full of confidence.

Or the old one about the bloke who intended to take a piece of fruit to work, but he ‘plum’ forgot.

Anyway, rabbit suggested that I start off with an innocent comment and people can find some puns to respond with.

So here’s my comment: “It looks a nice day. I’m undecided about doing some gardening or snoozin on the deck chair”.

148 comments on “Punday

  1. I blame my friend Di* for this one…

    Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication.

  2. Here’s something that could well and truly have a reason to ban myself: after spending five minutes looking for my glasses – I found them in my top pocket. 😦

  3. Was talking to one of the chaps in JBHifi, sadly he’s just been sacked as his sale of amplifiers didn’t achieve sufficient volume.

  4. Went and bought some seafood today. Shelled out for the best. A bloke followed me out. Tried to take a few squid. I reckoned he was a flake. But he scampied off before I could catch him. I really hake that.

  5. Migs you’re only a hares breath, from trouble.

    It’s about to rain here. I think it has clouded my vision.

  6. That’s very tropical, Min.

    BTW I went to church this morning and decided to have chilli tomato prawn and spagetti tonight. The pasta recommended it.

  7. Well I’ve just cooked the dinner. Had to rectorfy it a bit. Added some parsley but didn’t have thyme for the rosemary.

  8. Pip, there’s not a kernell of truth in what Min says.

    I think I’ll be a little seedy in the morning….I’ll blame it on the plums.

  9. I think Migs really wanted this to be about politically incorrect gardening, So let’s call a spade a spade. Dig it! Not pushing my barrow BTW.

  10. I’ve just had a call from the Indian manager of the local IGA… I think he was trying to curry favours. (True) (Well almost.. he did ring) He asked me if I could do some works for him…I said naan.

  11. I’m off to install some stainless steel wire. I was roped into it. Hard way to earn a swage.I think I have the metal for it.

  12. I’d been looking everywhere for this email. Then I just found it when I wasn’t looking:

    My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned… I just couldn’t concentrate.

    After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn’t suited for it.

    Then I tried to be a chef — I figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn’t have the thyme.

    I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the workload was just too draining.

    Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so I was given the axe.

    After that I worked in a blanket factory before it folded.

    Next was a job in a shoe factory … I really tried but I just didn’t fit in.

    After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a historian but found that there was no future in it.

    My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn’t noteworthy.

    I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn’t live on my net income.

  13. Arthur is 81 years old.

    He’s played golf every day since his retirement 16 years ago.

    One day he arrives home looking downcast.

    “That’s it” he tells his wife “I’m giving up golf. My eyesight has got
    so bad. Once I’ve hit the ball I can’t see where it went.”

    His wife sympathizes.

    As they sit down, she makes a suggestion: “Why don’t you take my brother
    with you and give it one more try.”

    “That’s no good” sighs Arthur. “Your brother is 93 years old. He can’t
    help.”

    “He may be a ninety three” says the wife “but his eyesight is perfect.”

    So the next day, Arthur heads off to the golf course with his
    brother-in-law.

    He tees up, takes an almighty swing and squints down the fairway.

    He turns to the brother-in-law. “Did you see the ball?”

    “Of course I did!” says the brother-in-law. “I have perfect eyesight.”

    “Where did it go?” asks Arthur.

    “Can’t remember.”

Leave a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s