Report Card Question Time Elementary School

Time to send out the school report cards on the performance of your little darlings, so here goes:

Tony Abbott – is definitely a boy with special needs. In the view of the staff room, these should begin with an exorcism;

Malcolm Turnbull – Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig

Joe Hockey – Your child has delusions of adequacy.

Greg Hunt – Your son sets low personal standards and consistently fails to achieve them.

Barnaby Joyce – Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

Andrew Robb – The child has been working with glue too much.

Julie Bishop – When your daughters IQ reaches 50, she should sell.

Bronwyn Bishop – The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train is not coming.

Christopher Pyne – It is impossible to beleive that the sperm that created this child beat out a million others.

Sophie Mirabella – I would not allow this student to breed

Peter Dutton – The wheel is turning but the hamster is dead.

53 comments on “Report Card Question Time Elementary School

  1. Hilarious, lunalava. I’m glad you left some kiddies for the rest of us to grade.

    Julian McGauran – very poor interpersonal skills with working class children. Very good with balaclavas and attack dogs.

    Matthias Cormann – unable to communicate with children of Asian descent and suffers from irrelevant repetition syndrome, an affliction common to these children.

  2. Luke Simpkins spends too much time worrying about the meat sandwiches in his lunch box. Please send a vegetarian selection next term.

  3. Mary Jo tried hard but should spend more time on Maths and less time in auditioning for the School Dance Spectacular.

  4. It has come to the Principal’s attention that Cory has heard walking do the corridors yelling Abbott Akbar.

    Letter to parents:

    Dear Mr and Mrs Ruddock

    Unfortunately we have had to resorting to keeping young Phillip in formaldihyde during classes as he is beginning to pong from decay

  5. Thank you Augustus, this one reminded me of one of Ruddock’s claims which will live in infamy.

    Dear Mr and Mrs Ruddock,

    We do realize that little Phillip is taking sewing as a hobby class only, but unfortunately we have had to isolate him during this class. Lip sewing is not a fashion statement.

  6. El gordo, I’ve seen some downright nasty things said about politicians on other blog sites and on comments that make Luna’s comments look like lollipops. I’m sure you are familiar with such sites and have issued similar warnings. If you have, I’d like to see the link.

  7. El gordo, no sorry there is no defamation involved as Lunalava’s post is clearly satire. Akin to The Chasers.

    The post likewise does not contravene any anti-discrimination legislation such as racial or gender vilification.

    Also remember that there are two sets of rules pertaining to defamation – one relates to public entities, the other to private persons.

    I put this one up as an addendum on Migs’ topic: Blogging and Online Harassment.

    5. Any imputation concerning any person, or any member of his family, whether living or dead, by which the reputation of that person is likely to be injured, or by which he is likely to be injured in his profession or trade, or by which other persons are likely to be induced to shun or avoid or ridicule or despise him, is called defamatory, and the matter of the imputation is called defamatory matter.

    The moot point regarding all cases of Defamation is whether or not the comment was made ‘with malice’. Hence the reason that it is far easier to sue persons for defamation if you are a private person, compared with a public person.

    ‘With malice’ is one of the prime concerns of the court which is why vilification of individuals differs from the satire of public persons.

  8. Julia after a quiet start to the year has shown why she was elected School Captain. Willing and able to work for and on behalf of the school community, a determination to push through the barriers, her results speak for themselves. I look forward to working again with Julia next year.

  9. Lunalava and Pip..good grief, I had just awarded my Quote of the Day (under delegated authority) and now you two come up with these rippers.

  10. Pip, I think that you have just earned yourself a job. I hereby (under delegated authority), appoint thee to award all future Quotes of the Day.

    Ok by you Migs? I think that Pip will do a sterling job. 😀

  11. Peter Slipper – Needs better ability to pick friends, recently left a group of friends amid claims of prolonged bullying.

    Mr & Mrs Joyce – we are still awaiting reimbursement for the school property you son ruined in floodwater early this year.

  12. ‘With malice’ is one of the prime concerns of the court which is why vilification of individuals differs from the satire of public persons.’

    Thanx Min.

  13. El gordo, then you had better hightail your ever-increasing backside back there.

    Try Austlii, if you know what it is. It’s called a primary source rather than your or you’beaut mate Ratty’s secondary sources. But James would know all about that, being a lawyer and all that. 🙄

  14. El gordo, ‘with malice’ is exactly why private persons can sue in tort whereas public persons have difficulty proving this as per the example of satire. One of the disadvantages of public office.

  15. Abbott’s response to the Cabinet reshuffle was pathetic at best. I await his reshuffle, if any, and the shallow excuse that will accompany it.

  16. Miglo asked, on December 12, 2011 at 9:44 am

    Can Abbott get any worse?

    Of course, the answer is a resounding yes. Does anyone really believe he
    cares about being a better human being when the keys to the Lodge occupy his every waking minute?

    Detainee day leave too easy: Abbott

    FEDERAL Opposition Leader Tony Abbott has warned against “enhancing the attractiveness” of Australia by allowing detainees on day release.

    The comment was made in response to a Darwin immigration detainee being charged with indecently assaulting six schoolgirls at a public swimming pool while on day release on Tuesday

    He said: “It’s a bad situation getting worse.”

    One asylum seeking detainee allegedly commits an offence and in blasts Tones, cracking his whip with a great big dog-whistle aimed at the red-necks.

  17. Oops, forgot to mention, Tony has been obsessing all term, and unable to do his allotted tasks.

    Suggest putting him back a grade till he grows up.

  18. Congratulations to Tony Abbott for winning “Australian Whinger of the Year” award; an award I thought I had a grip on.

    In announcing the award, Mike Carlton writes:

    But there’ll be no surprise at the outright winner. The best of our national leaders have sought to draw out what Paul Keating calls the golden threads of our society. Robert Menzies could do this when he chose to; Gough Whitlam and Bob Hawke understood it instinctively.

    Tony Abbott does not. Like his mentor John Howard, he plays to our base instincts of greed, selfishness and fear. He wallows in the politics of NO, apeing the hysteria of the shock jocks: we are on the brink of economic disaster; climate change is ”crap”; we are ”threatened” by gays and left-wing social engineering; a flood of ”illegals” is swamping our borders.

    We have the ”worst government in our history”, he howls, blithely ignoring Billy McMahon’s Coalition shambles of the 1970s and Arthur Fadden’s wartime conservatives of 1941, who collapsed in a heap after just 40 days in office.

    And so on and on, ad nauseam. Tony Abbott: you are the 2011 Australian Whinger of the Year.

    Read more:

    Well done, Tony.

  19. Migs, I have prepared a post on who are the biggest whingers Will wait a couple of days.

    I think it is a topic in it’s own right.

  20. Mr. Abbott at it once again. Demanding that the asylum seekers be treated as criminals.

    “FEDERAL Opposition Leader Tony Abbott has warned against “enhancing the attractiveness” of Australia by allowing detainees on day release”

    I cannot recall another politician that took so must pride in destroying everyone and thing within his path. He seems to take pride in being nasty.

  21. Cu, from your link:

    Tony Abbott has warned against “enhancing the attractiveness” of Australia . . .

    That just about sums up his agenda at the moment.

  22. Our mayor back in Port Augusta had a hissy fit about detainees from Baxter being allowed ‘out’ on ‘accompanied’ shopping trips into town. She had a mental snap at the kids being allowed to go to school. She was also once wooed by the Liberal Party.

    She’d fit right in.

  23. Migs, we will not have to worry about Australia being attractive, if he manages to get into power and continues the job Mr. Howard began.

  24. Saw a humorous comment on Facebook. Some bloke’s looking forward to Mal Brough reentering politics – it’d be good to actually seeing someone dumber than Julie Bishop in parliament.


  25. Miglo, I wonder what she contributed yesterday, other than looking at Mr. Morrison with doey eyes.

    I wonder if she knows where Nauru is.

    They must have been mad if they thought having Mr. Rudd would assist the Liberals.

    I am sure he will take great pleasure in correcting Ms. Bishop, which I am sure he will have the opportunity to do.

    Mr. Rudd will also enjoy defending his own actions he took as PM.

    Mr. Rudd would be on top of this subject in both areas.

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