Report Card Question Time Elementary School

Time to send out the school report cards on the performance of your little darlings, so here goes:

Tony Abbott – is definitely a boy with special needs. In the view of the staff room, these should begin with an exorcism;

Malcolm Turnbull – Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig

Joe Hockey – Your child has delusions of adequacy.

Greg Hunt – Your son sets low personal standards and consistently fails to achieve them.

Barnaby Joyce – Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

Andrew Robb – The child has been working with glue too much.

Julie Bishop – When your daughters IQ reaches 50, she should sell.

Bronwyn Bishop – The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train is not coming.

Christopher Pyne – It is impossible to beleive that the sperm that created this child beat out a million others.

Sophie Mirabella – I would not allow this student to breed

Peter Dutton – The wheel is turning but the hamster is dead.