Australia has been given the nod to host the next G20 meeting and our Prime Minister is due to announce next June which State Capital city will host the event. I would like to give all state government leaders the opportunity to submit their first draft of a preliminary feasibility proposal to host this prestigious event. To assist all those struggling State governments I offer a first draft summary of their respective strength and weaknesses – feel free to add your contribution:
NSW: Barrel O’Lies is the only state with a water cannon (and they are not afraid to give the rabble a spray). Howard showed how easy it is to shut down the entire city and ensure that powerful world leaders arrive on time for the lectures and largesse. Anyway by 2014, Abbott will be living in the Sydney harbor side mansion (Kirribilli House) and little Johnny will be living next door in the Governor General’s shack so all the important people will be close at hand.
Queensland: Campbell Newmann will finally get elected and go straight into the top job where he will make Abbott look like an alter boy. His no nonsense approach will re-introduce the “ride over the bastards” approach so they won’t need any pussy water cannon. Politically it would be better for Brisbane to miss out as Newmann can play the “see I told you southerners really hate us” card after all it kept Joh Bjelke-Petersen in power for more that twenty years.
Victoria: Police scandal and corruption will be a thing of the past by 2014 (well at least not appearing in the newspaper). Victorian bid will be held back because of the swear jar laws (shit!) and the Premiers strange wind turbine phobia (anemomenophobia.). Failure to even take a one game off the Irish will not help.
Canberra : despite royal endorsement, the ACT does not have enough hotel beds although the locals would provide billets which might prove a novel arrangement for our visitors. We run the world’s best little soccer tournament (Kanga Cup) and the biggest concern from our overseas visitors is they can’t find a McDonalds to try out the local cuisine.
Perth: Well they just had CHOGM. Guaranteed to be the preferred choice for ultra right wing G20 members.
All the rest including the south island, thanks for applying, it was a very strong field and you “just” missed out.