At Home With Tony!

Fiona Katauskas in today’s New Matilda in the interests of balance with a certain ABC comedy, to which I will not provide a link, has given us a great cartoon.

But like many other cartoonists, reporters and commentators she has overlooked a very important fact.  It’s not the Lodge he has his sights set on.  It’s Kirribilli House, in Sydney!   I can’t draw cartoons,  but here’s my take on some script ideas! 

Tony Abbott Doesn’t Want The Lodge!


Like most of the media she’s got it wrong,
But some of us have known it all along.
Tony Abbott as PM will dodge
The inconvenience of The Lodge.
Like John Howard, he’s not silly,
Where he plans to live is Kirribilli!

Ask any TV news reporter,

He needs sea to prove he walks on water.
And those shots of his daily cleans and jerks,,
Don’t reveal all of his body works.
Some things are best kept in obscurity
Beyond range of Canberra “security.”

It’s rumoured he has a secret life
Behind the facade of three kids and a wife.
He needs to take care or he’ll be a goner,
Seen once too often with that ‘Belladonna.’
Whoever of these is his ‘lovely lady’
He should drop her. She’s poison. Deadly. Shady.

Then he should do that show, “At Home With Tony”
Just for PR, no matter how phony.
Show off his house and he’d have it made.
He can mention his mortgage he’s gotta get paid.
“Money’s tight, sure don’t grow on trees!”
Yeah, he’s just like us. So vote for him, please!

Nearby lives friend and advisor, George Pell,

A Cardinal, who can save him from hell,
Forgive him this sin, grant him remission,
With the others to come, at daily confession.
That’s another reason Tony’s ambition is
For the PM’s residence to be………. in Sydney’s Catholic Archdiocese.

55 comments on “At Home With Tony!

  1. I agree Patriciawa. I think Tony would prefer Kirribilli to the Lodge. Closer to his Surf Club. At the end of the day it is his call. Anyone running a book on which he will choose and when he will move in?
    It is a much easier punt than predicting the winner of tomorrows Grand Final. I am going for the Pies only because I have a painful mate who follows Geelong.

  2. Patricia, do you think his family will join him at Kirribilli.

    Maybe it would be more suitable and cheaper to put him up at some pub, as the man appears not to like going home.

    It would also save him moving costs when his party deposes of him as quickly as possible.

  3. patricia, ‘belladonna’ The berries pose the greatest danger to children because they look attractive and have a somewhat sweet taste

    Reminds me of the 101 Dalmatians…..Cruella de Mirabella !

  4. Cu, Maybe it would be more suitable and cheaper to put him up at some pub, as the man appears not to like going home.

    It wouldn’t ever happen, but if he was my partner I’d be wishing him luck on his many travels.

  5. Pip, to go far enough away, not to be able to find his way back.

    Yes, that sounds about right.

    What does his chosen lifestyle have to offer a partner and kids.

  6. Has anyone noticed that PM Gillard is the first PM, except for Mr. Rudd, that continues to use her own home when away from Canberra.

    I know that Whitlam and Howard did not. Both homes stood empty till the left the role.

    I could never understand why Mr. Howard did not keep the family home going for his children. I fail to understand why Kirribilli was needed.

    I think it is a good thing to have a refuge away from formal state homes. Everyone needs their own space.

  7. Cu, what an interesting point you make.
    Why didn’t the Howards live in their own home when in Sydney, instead of government revenue paying the cost of running two
    grand homes !!

  8. Sue & Patriciawa earlier. Thanks for the pome, that glorious cartoon & the shot of Abbott’s factory tour. I think the factory shot’s almost up there with his famous “here’s yer broom back” routine. Good stuff. Of course, since those posts we have learned that Abbott is also The World’s Worst Daddy Cool Impersonator. It’s headshaking stuff he’s doing so well.

  9. Mr. Burnside would not be playing games with Mr. Abbott’s head, would he.

    How can Mr. Abbott complain, when he himself said that freedom of the press means freedom to say things we may not like.

    His actual description of Mr. Abbott is more damaging. A dangerous man, which most do not see.

    Tonight Mr. Abbott is still talking the economy down. It that a prudent thing to do, when one looks at the state the world economy is in.

    Any man who takes Mr, Santamaria as his economic mentor has to be dangerous.

    “…Mr Burnside tweeted “Paedos in speedos” on Friday morning during a discussion on a new book about Mr Abbott.

    He later took to Twitter to issue an “unsolicited apology”, saying the paedophile reference was not aimed at Mr Abbott.

    “He is NOT a paedophile and I was not referring to him. He has many flaws but that is not one of them,” Mr Burnside tweeted.

    “I am new to Twitter and thought I was replying to one person.”

    Mr Burnside said via Twitter the paedophile remark was about priests.

    He described Mr Abbott as a “dangerous man with no moral compass” during the discussion about the new book Tony Abbott: A Man’s Man by Susan Mitchell…”

  10. I haven’t read the full article, but Abbott is being a wee bit sensitive if he thinks the tweet was referring to him. Sensitive and precious.

    Goodness, he should try running a blog site. :mrgreen:

  11. Miglo
    He doesn’t need to do the that, run a blog site, he has the murdoch press. And they will never let the anti-abbotts in, never ever. Abbott can be assured of them portraying him, as a sensitive all caring man, the one he sees in the mirror every day.
    Pip and CY
    Kirribilli and the Lodge the official residences also are very secure, there is no official residence in Melbourne. If you remember Julia did not want to move into the Lodge to after the election, the security people found that difficult.
    Janette and John, decided that Kirribilli to be their prime residence, and Howard only to travel to Canberra. It was a very expensive exercise that we the tax payer picked up and the MSM waste watchers ignored. Abbott may also wish in his dreams to install someone in Kirribilli, while he travels. Add that nightmare to the cost cutting 70 billion Joe.

  12. The suburb of Manly, incidentally, come from a reference to the Indigenous people of the area. One of the officers of the First Fleet commented that the male Aborigines looked very manly, and the word stuck.

    And that, my friends, is 100 per cent true.

  13. Migs, I certainly remember that one..that the Aboriginal men had ‘manly’ bearing. But then history also treats us to a contra opinion about Aboriginals being the most wretched people on earth. It seems to me that the first white peoples to sight Australia were somewhat confused.

  14. Security might have found it difficult but both PM Gillard and Mr. Rudd choose to use their own homes while in the city they reside in.

    I think that is a furthy.

    We do live in the days of high technology.

    No, Mr Howard and his wife liked the address. Who would not?

    It still does not explain why Mr. Howard chose to live in Sydney, not Canberra.

    Obviously Mr. Howard and now Mr. Abbott see nothing wrong with whole departments having to travel to do business with them.

    I suggest that one should live in Canberra, that is where parliament and it’s offices are to be found.

  15. Cu, Howard chose Sydney because of the proximity to his children’s school. When they left school he didn’t move to Canberra. He preferred to waste the taxpayers’ money on two houses. One of them sitting vacant for 12 years.

  16. Miglo & Catching Up
    They could name the place that, wouldn’t do much for real estate values but it’d be more accurate in the context we’re talking about here.
    As for Howard’s living at Kirribilli my recollection is that having applied for & got a job in Canberra with a taxpayer funded house thrown in, he’d stay in another taxpayer funded house in Sydney, just up the road from his own in fact, because of the kiddies’ schooling & travel to work at taxpayer’s expense. Not an angle he proposed to extend to anyone else. This continued after the kids left school & home.

  17. And he was happy to catch the tax payer funded flights to Canberra. But personally I was glad he chose not to live in Canberra. I didn’t want the turd living in the same city as me.

  18. Paul Kelly in today’s Oz talking about Yabbott’s first term as PM.

    ‘Abbott’s first-term game plan is on the table now.

    ‘It will be dominated by four items that reflect Abbott’s conservatism applied to the times: the dismantling of the carbon price scheme (the most substantial and risky dismantling of any policy in Australian history), the scaling back and re-defining of the National Broadband Network, the removal of the mining tax and hefty spending cuts to achieve the promised fiscal consolidation.’

  19. All of them bad. Some of them disastrous. A reporter of nous should have mentioned that.

    Not to mention that under Abbott racism and sexism will be rampant.

  20. Well el gordo, we know what he is going to demolish, including the country’s economy.

    el gordo, can you tell us what he is going to build.

    I suggest it will be , and only be the incomes of the rich and powerful.

  21. Miglo, he is also unlikely to have the ability to carry out any of his threats for many years.

    He is all talk and no walk.

    He said the streets would be full of those rebelling. A thousand or two turned out.

    He said that Canberra would be swamped with trucks from all over Australia. A couple of hundred turned up.

    He said he would force an election. Still not on the cards.

    He said the Independents will turn to him. They are sticking to the PM.

    He said there would be not carbon pricing legislation. Is due to be passed shortly.

    He said there would be no pairing in parliament. Ministers still able to leave Canberra during sittings to do their business.

    Said he would disrupt parliament. Has not occurred, business as usual.

    Mr. Abbott says much but delivers little.

    He said we would have a referendum on the price on carbon legislation. Has not occurred.

    I cannot think of one threat that Mr. Abbott has delivered on.

    He said that the PM will not survive. Funny, she is still there dishing it out to Mr. Abbott.

    He said that coal mining would disappear, then we have the biggest takeover in history of the industry.

    Maybe you can enlighten me el gordo. There must be one.

  22. CU, to my mind Abbott has been running with only 3 specific items – asylum seekers, the carbon tax and yet to come is the mega miners tax.

    With these 3 things out of the way, Abbott has no policies whatsoever…basically…what is it that Tony is going to talk about when these are all ‘old news’…

  23. Oh good well that solves that problem..after the mining tax is out of the way then we won’t have to listen to him any more..phew, that”s a relief!

  24. Min, you have to feel sorry for the bloke. He will have to learn two or three new slogans. You know how taxing that is.

  25. Miglo, maybe we need to get the history books out to know where he is coming from. Mr. Santamaria for starters. Maybe looking at some of Mr. Eric Braumes old programmes may help.

    What I do not understand why a man his age would go back to that era.

    I can understand Mr. Keating admiring Mr. Lang, a man, whether you agreed with him or not, was an interesting man. Mr. Santamaria, I do not understand.

  26. Migs @12.06am, yeah the poor precious petal! The PM was right; Liealot , like Dolt can dish it out but he can’t take it. Typical bully.

    CU, he’s all mouth and trousers. If he gets to be PM, he won’t succeed in dismantling the carbon pricing scheme or nobbling the NBN or the removal of the mining tax or any of the other threatened policy wrecking. It would be like rolling back the GST-never going to happen.

    His greatest and only talent is being a blowhard!

  27. Practising how to put on a serious face. Keep an eye on the walk, I am sure if the man is under pressure, it will become more pronounced as did Mr. Howard’s shoulder tic in his early days. Remember the shoulder that would not stop going up and down.

  28. Oh, I don’t know. I seem to remember him admitting that he’s not always honest or to be relied on.

  29. But that was just the once at the hands of Kerry O’Brien! He’s more often calling other people liars, isn’t he? I wonder what that’s all about?

    When Abbott talks of ‘toxic’ infection,
    The shrinks would say that’s just projection
    Of his own, dark, inner reflection.
    Gillard, guilty of lies, deception?
    No! He’s the one who needs correction!
    So clearly lacking circumspection
    In his manic drive to win election,
    Spewing bile in every direction!
    In some psychiatrists’ perception
    He’d be an ideal candidate – for section.

  30. Is this lady too hard on the Opposition leader or do many have the same fears.

    Is it unfair to write such a book.

    I believe it is. Mr. Abbott has attacked the PM on every level, going as far as saying in parliament that she has psychological problems.

    The Opposition has on a daily basis attacked the PM’s ability and the way she lives her private life.

    They daily call her a liar.

    This Opposition is very aggressive in playing the man not the ball. This Opposition does all in it’s power to destroy what the government does, no matter the harm it does to the economy or the country.

    The author says that the book is meant to be controversial. Does that necessary mean that what is in the book is not fact.

    As Mr. Abbott crouches everything in the veil of war, surely nothing is beyond the pale in fighting back.

    As they say, all is fair in love and war.

    “….Julia (Gillard) is everything he despises,” says Mitchell, listing the fact the prime minister is in a de facto relationship, childless, atheist and a feminist.

    As for Abbott the political leader, he has turned politics into war, uses policy mantras starting with the words “stop” or “kill”, and routinely approaches everything he does “in a manner that only serves to make voters feel fearful for the future”, Mitchell says.

    But at the same time “his policies are subject to constant slipping and sliding, according to the politics of the situation; he blows where the political wind takes him”, she argues.

    Finding anything positive about Abbott in the book is difficult.

    Mitchell says Abbott is “not a bad man or a mad man”.

    But she concludes voters need to think seriously about whether they want a leader who is “trapped in the past”……..”

  31. Pingback: At Home With Tony! | polliepomes

  32. Privatise teachers..and nurses…and firefighters..and ambos and all the rest of the public service.

    Have you got that, it’s P-U-B-L-I-C S-E-R-V-I-C-E as in people who serve the public.

    And while you’re at it you should also chuck out all those nasty lawyers who work pro bono because they likewise are working for public service.

  33. While we’re at it, let’s privatise the police and armed forces – see how long the likes of Geoff survive in “their” private enterprise utopia. The natural state of a conservative is one of fear, so I guess they’ll really be at home in “their” world 😆

  34. If government services were privatised, then who will pay out the losses and failures of private industry, as happens during all financial collapses due to private industries failing?

    How many billions or trillions of public monies were given to private (publicly subsidised and low or not taxed) industries because of a GFC they caused? How many public servants sweated and spent long hours working on ways to save private “too big to fail” arses?

    How did these private sectors thank the public one that saved them? They gave themselves even bigger bonuses and skimmed more out of the people they screwed in the first place.

    Yeah, let’s privatise the public sector.

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