Many of us here in Downunderland
Living far away from the Motherland,
Question the need for a royal wedding.
We’ve heard too much of prenuptial bedding
By this young and attractive royal pair
And their ‘on again, off again’ affaire,
The British government seem overjoyed
To have something for their unemployed
To smile about as they drink their beer.
Although we don’t have that problem here,
The populace is pleased and seems excited
By the thought that we have been invited.
So, our Red Queen and partner will attend.
This, Mr. Rabbit simply can’t defend.
Our Governor General will act graciously,
But that woman’ll behave mendaciously!
She lies! And worse! She is living in sin!
But that, he must not say; to his chagrin.
He knows our PM and her ‘de facto’
Have just met Emperor Akihito
On an official visit to Japan,
Where due deference was shown ‘her man.’
How will Mr. Rabbit contain his spleen,
When these two meet Her Majesty, the Queen?
So public opinion is in suspense.
For many this marriage does make some sense.
If only to produce a legal heir.
But there’s already one. No, two! And spare!
So all this great expensive spectacle
Is so ‘royals’ can look respectable?
Our Mr. Rabbit is always urging
Young women here to refrain from merging
With others; even with their fiancé.
For this royal bride he’ll just have to pray.
‘Cos the whole world knows he is far too late
To counsel thus our Prince William’s Kate.
Suddenly, the wily Mr. Rabbit
Has seen a chance and he thinks he’ll grab it.
He can promote himself as Mr. Clean,
Proclaim this sinful charade obscene!
Even declare himself Republican!
He pauses. Could he cross that Rubicon?
Downunderland gets roused by many things,
It hates dead empires and corrupted kings.
No need for a double dissolution!
He Can Do It! Cry, “ People’s Revolution!”
As absolute ruler of this nation,
Who’d dare not send him a royal wedding invitation!