Caption Competition

He’s had us all fooled this week.  There we were thinking the cat had got Tony’s tongue but as these photos show (no, they are not Photoshopped) he can actually open his mouth.

But what came out of it?

 

56 comments on “Caption Competition

  1. Wht noise does an ape make. That should fit the caption. Maybe “ouch”. Better still, nasty Julia stuck a pin in me.

  2. “What noise does an ape make”

    Still laughing !

    Actually, maybe it was just an ape-like noise ?

    Sorry apes.

  3. “President Mubarak says he will not listen to diktats from abroad but apologises for the violence against protesters. This clearly shows that Labor can’t be trusted with money”.

  4. TA: I take your point, that if you want to drag me into a technical discussion here I am not going to be very successful at it because…when I open my mouth I speak only garbage.

    **borrowed from the interview with Kerry O’Brien.

  5. Oh ~ you know ‘I LUV’ these captions ,lol 🙂

    Abbott is saying Zilch, nothing, As usual. Mouth open but nothing is coming out…

    heheheh :))

  6. Home fertiliser machine instructions for use: Pull on the ears, the mouth opens and shite pours out. Can be used on all garden beds.

    A bargain @ $1.99. Can be obtained at all LIEberal party offices.

  7. “Shane says that Rio Tinto today announced a 122% increase in its profit to $14,300,000,000. Which is more than many countrys total GDP. It revealed its bottom line almost tripled last year with record underlying earnings of over US $13.9 Billion based on soaring prices.

    This clearly shows that Labor can’t be trusted with money”.

  8. Riley, let me warn you…next time you point a microphone in my direction I’ll swallow it whole just like I did to these ones.

  9. jane & Migs…lol.

    Reporter:

    Why do you stuff-up so much Mr. Abbott?…such as the five instances relating to the Afghanistan trip to support the troops?

    Tony:

    Aaaaaaahhhhhhhh (like Shane noticed)

    Reporter:

    Well, if you can’t ask that question Mr. Abbott then how about this one:

    Why did you choose Barnaby Joyce to be your first finance minister?

    Tony:

    Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh

    Reporter:

    Hmmm…are you okay Mr. Abbott…has your brain stalled?

    Knowing that Julie Bishop was a lazy researcher & poor political point scorer did you choose her as your Deputy because she might make you look harder working and a better performer?…and be an unlikely challenger to your position?

    Tony:

    Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh

    Reporters:

    Someone kick him in the nuts…it might start him again.

    N’

  10. Top pic: Thanks for the offer of the penis warmers folks, I’ll save ’em for when I’m wearing my budgie smugglers.

  11. Reporter:

    Mr. Abbott, you’re known for exaggerating & using over-the-top statements to grab headlines…do you think it has much to do with your journalistic background?

    Would you be better off giving up politics Mr. Abbott and joining Rupert Murdoch in New York?…

    Working for Fox News perhaps?…considering how much you fear-monger & exagerrate.

    Tony:

    Ahhhhhhhh…if I left for New York, that would be the biggest surrender since Singapore…

    just like when our Coalition backed off on changing Medicare…just like when we announced a reversal on WorkChoices…just like when we had to put Amanda in charge of the Immigration portfolio & decided to change our approach to detention centres.

    Reporter:

    Mr. Abbott, but isn’t listening to the people’s needs & making responsible adjustments to programs & policy just appropriately compromising rather than back-flipping or surrendering?

    Tony:

    Not in my books. I’m the Action Man…Man of Iron…I don’t surrender. I don’t backflip.

    Reporter:

    Have you any money in your wallet for stay-at-home Mums Mr. Abbott?

    You better hand it over now…Julie Bishop is driving a bulldozer straight at you…waving a sign saying: DON’T FAIL INDONESIAN SCHOOLS.

    Tony:

    Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh (head nodding, nodding, nodding…)

    N’

  12. What Jedda said!
    What Miglo said!
    Hillbilly, it’s a stone fish…..toxic.
    Jane, last week we put pyrethrum on some plants and they died [really], maybe it was actually the LIEberal brand.
    Min, Peter Heater, please.
    Nas. he’s already joined at the hip with Rupe, no need to go to New York.

  13. Reporter:

    Hmmm…are you okay Mr. Abbott…has your brain stalled?

    On second thoughts, do you have a brain?

    Min @ 1.03pm, that mental image is enough to cause a nervous breakdown. LOL

    Reporter:

    Have you any money in your wallet for stay-at-home Mums Mr. Abbott?

    You better hand it over now…Julie Bishop is driving a bulldozer straight at you…waving a sign saying: DON’T FAIL INDONESIAN SCHOOLS.

    LOL, Nas’.

  14. Nasking,
    Wasn’t it Tabloid Tony that ‘did a backflip’ on removing Aid to Africa this week?
    Now, how is that not the biggest Surrender Monkey position adopted since the Fall of Singapore?
    Still, maybe that honour goes to his humiliating backdown over scrapping the NBN. I mean, it didn’t even get delayed in his ‘Alternative Budget Cuts’. 😉

  15. “I am not the Cookie Monster”. More likely he is saying he is. We all know how he likes to dress up.

    “Tony Abbott conclusively proving he has the brain and attention span of a Guppy. “

    Sorry, I believe fish ave a longer attention span than they are given credit for. It is insulting to the guppy to compare Mr. Abbott with them.

    It is not Mr. Abbott;s brain that is the main problem, though I wish he would use it. It is his tin ear and lack of a heart.

  16. You are right Cu, science has proven that fish have as long a memory as most other animals and don’t have short memory spans.

    Actually I don’t need science to tell me that. My goldfish know within minutes the two times I feed them a day and on which side of the tank I mostly feed them from. I also starve them one day a week and they remember that as well and mostly don’t come to the feeding corner on that day. Interestingly I started sprinkling a little food on the other side of the tank just after I put food in the normal side. One goldfish has cottoned onto this and makes a beeline for that side so it doesn’t have to compete with the others for the main food. It now always moves to the other side even before I put any food in remembering I will put some food there.

  17. Well, Mobius, it appears that your favourite goldfish is far smarter than the leader of the opposition. I can envisage all the other fish saying: “Hey, look over there”.

  18. I applied the same principle when assigning the young lad to feed the dog. I suggested that if he feeds the dog at exactly 6 pm every day he will be marvelled at the dog’s body clock by observing that the dog will eventually front up at 6 pm to be fed. No need to call him; he’ll ‘know’ it’s six o’clock.

    Within a week the experiment proved to be a great success. The dog rolled up exactly at six o’clock for its feed.

    Sadly, the lad’s body clock failed to respond. I think it was turned off.

    I concluded that the dog was smarter than his human friend.

  19. My Dad was also well conversant with the nature of animals; probably acquired from a life on the farm.

    One day (now living in the city) the neighbour’s young girl came over to look at the chooks and left the door of the shed open.

    We returned home to find 15 hens enjoying themselves in Dad’s garden.

    What did Dad do? Nothing. He knew that at night time they’d wander back into the shed as happy little beings.

    Now what would Abbott have done? He probably would have hunted down every chook and I can tell you that it is very hard to catch a chook. Especially when there’s a dozen or so on the loose. You run at those chooks and they scatter off in a million different directions and after a lot of huffing and puffing you still end up empty handed and with one trampled garden.

    Murdoch would have reported the next day that they were dissident chooks and the young girl who assisted in their escape was a threat to national security. Murdoch would have continued that Dad’s hen-house border policies were inadequate and that under a Liberal Government this disaster would never have occurred.

    Dad would have countered that there was never really a problem as these chooks had no difficulty in assimilating into his garden life and offered no threat at all. They were peaceful in nature and their droppings were good for the garden.

    The OO would have run an editorial the next day saying that by using chook shit instead of Australian made fertiliser many jobs would be lost. And it would be my Dad’s fault.

    They should have just done what my Dad did. Gosh my Dad sounds a lot like Kevin Rudd.

  20. Sharks soon learn to look for food where dishonest captains throw the rubbish over board, especially in our harbours. I remember that cows knew when to come home for milking. It did save a lot of walking.

  21. Ah the memories. I recall that too, Cu, the cows walking down the hill on their way to the milking shed.

    Maybe Abbott (above) was saying: “Here come the cows”.

  22. CU @7.42am, I believe guppies eat shit, so it’d be handy to have plenty on hand whenever Smuggles opens his mouth.

    I think his brain is a problem, though. He has to share it with the rest of the opposition members and I think someone else probably has the use of it whenever he is off the leash.

    LOL, Migs @11.34am. I reckon Smuggles would turn up at the wrong side of the tank no matter how much you tried to condition him to do otherwise.

    ME, I believe researchers have also noticed this behaviour in sharks in the wild. From memory, they weren’t actually testing the animals, but noticed that they were turning up at their boat around the same time and on the same side every day where they were burleying the water, I think. It’s some time since I saw the program, so am a little hazy on the details.

    Re dogs, our GSP follows me around in very close formation when his tucker dish or water bucket needs filling, often treading on the heels of my shoes. I don’t need to check; he lets me know every time.

    CU, as you say, cows are another beast which knows the time.

  23. “We have seen democracy in action as the people of Egypt rise as one against a bad government. Let that be a warning to Julia Gillard, as the people will rise in revolt against her. And I will be the one who will lead us to salvation. God has spoken to me. I am the chosen one”.

  24. “See, I told ya’ that I could get a Green Army together..and they work real cheap too.”

    LOL Min. Nice.

    “See how the children follow me. They too have heard God speak”.

    Migs,
    Tony the Pied Viper.

    “Wasn’t it Tabloid Tony that ‘did a backflip’ on removing Aid to Africa this week?”

    Feral,
    what goes on in Troubled Tony’s mind nobody knows.

    N’

  25. To follow on from Migs…

    Seee, I told you that the School Chaplaincy program would work the kiddies all love me.

  26. Can’t sleep and thought of your caption comp. We’re all a bit scatalogical this week, so I thought I’d work up something I started at TPS yesterday. But it became longer instead of short and snappy. FS gave it a push along for me. Now I am sleepy and can’t find an alternative to using both excrement and excreta in the last two verses. (Edited later next day – think I’ve solved it with – “Yes!”)

    Fun trying to swear in verse in the middle of the night!

    Who’s Stirring (–)it In Downunderland?

    Exitement in Downunderland!
    I’m reading news just come to hand.
    Mr. Rabbit’s made a declaration.
    Which calls for unity as ‘one nation’.

    Swears he’ll serve us with devotion.
    And to that end he’ll move a motion,
    Promising an apology
    For all his past scatology.

    We doubt that much will come of it
    We’ve heard before the same bull shit.
    He is not a man who keeps his word,
    Valued less than a rotting turd.

    His foul views and policies
    On how to run democracies
    Echo a woman who to prison went,
    His rival in such excrement.

    Yes, that red head he sent to gaol.
    With our Red Queen he’s bound to fail.
    She’s just and good. He’ll never beat her.
    Yes! His ‘one nation’ talk is crap! Excreta!

  27. “Candy, you were reading his mind, not his lips”

    Does he have anything in his mind to read, except a few scripted lines he repeats so often that I mouth the words before they come out.

    My favourite is “this is a bad government” I think that he means that gives him the right to destroy it on behalf of the voters that voted for him, not the government. The votes of those who did not support him do not count, as they were wrong. The is a five word statement, unusual for him, because he generally sticks to three words. It screams of “look at me, Look at me” “I am the one that will save us all” “everyone else is wrong”

    Any more come to mind. There are not many.

  28. Little boy left of Abbott in pic: Hey Mr Abbott why don’t you want me to have a school hall? I was going to have music lessons but now I can’t. Abbott: Arrrrrrggghhh, why won’t these kids leave me alone.

    Cameraman #1: Come on mate, move in closer we’ll get him straight on the noggin the next time. Cameraman #2: Yep, time to put the poor bastard out of his misery.

Leave a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s