Let me begin by saying “I’m not a witch. Nor a warlock”. Nor am I just like you. Unless yer a large vegetarian who enjoys hot, spicey food, tabasco in their beer, sci-fi, alternative music that makes yer elders wince, watching illuminating shows like ‘Hung’ & ‘Lost Gardens’ back to back…and would like to see a governing Coalition oneday made up of The Greens, The New Inventors & The Sex Party.
I also like taking the piss out of America’s Tea Party. Excessive worry warts walking around with flags sticking out of their butts, who have rogue grizzle guts Sarah Palin’s literature tucked under their pillows, who eat freedom fries for lunch, and Glenn Beck’s turds with hash browns for brekky, on American Constitution tablecloths…whilst calling for cuts to just about everything that helps keep half the population afloat on a good day…well, they deserve a good pinching now & then. Oneday, they might wake up.
So where does John Howard come into this?
Well, I’ve got a distinct feeling that John Howard’s games played during the Pauline Hanson years was a real motivation for the too oft Fox News-backed US Tea Party…and the recent success of these home-baked loons and rural, regional gripers has inspired plans for a similar movement here in OZ. One only has to listen to the waves of discontent & tsunami of moaning prior to the announcement of the Murray-Darling Basin thingy to get a hint of what is yet to come. We’ve been warned. On the ABC Breakfast show of all things.
So, I’d like to send a thankyou card to John Winston Howard. Not by email tho…I doubt “Is that an Optus?” John would appreciate such.
Many thanks for being an inspiration to American Republicans. How could they have dug themselves out of their grave of fried politics without learning the valuable lesson that one way to bring back the base is to let parochial protectionist, cheap-arse, gay-baiting, “I’m only racist for the good of the country” policies & views be pushed by a ONE NATION UNDER GOD party…that wins a few seats, only to be executed down the line, whilst the corporate arse-lickin’ mainstream party takes the ball from them and runs with it all the way to the next election win? Nice work.
Also, what a valuable contribution you made regarding climate change policy John. Thanks for leaving this new Aussie Alliance with all the hard work to do on dealing with the climate and environmental messes…that goes for the Murray-Darling river bit. It makes for great “conflict” TV. Besides, what would they have to talk about on Q&A if you hadn’t left us such a quagmire? The ABC, The Australian & Sky News, in particular, owe you a debt of gratitude.
And let’s not forget the absent “tax on mining profits“…how beaut of you to let the big miners bathe in the light reflecting from their own mountains of mineral rewards…whilst mining towns bathed in toxic dust, unaffordable residences and infrastructure that would suit the next Mad Max project. Yer kick-arse man.
And of course, leaving Australia with two blackhole wars to exit that have done diddly-squat to end world terrorism but have certainly played a role as full-bore recruitment campaigns for the “We hate anyone who’s not an extremist Muslim and will bring a world of hurt to those stinkin’ infidels!” types…well, that was pure genius. Why would we want to deal with the other pathetic issues like climate change, dehydrated rivers & basins, health & education reform, the mining tax, toxic Australia and kids being consumed by fast food joints & gambling rellies…when we can join America in it’s Pacmen-like forever wars…and make armament & energy groups even more powerful? Yer simply the best.
Thankyou, thankyou, thankyou John Winston Howard.
And may the rest of you have a wonderful day. Have a few drinks & smiles whilst ya still can. Before the patriots of Australia start squeezing those flags outa their butts. And waving placards that read: Julia Gillard is a lesbian commie who was born a Muslim in Wales“.
Here’s to sanity! Bottoms up! Glug!